Why I Don't Leave

This is a long post, but I want to try to explain to those who ask the valid question "if you're so unhappy with your leadership, why don't you just leave?". I hope the pastor's yes men will read it, consider it, and try to help out with the ongoing problem.

Suppose you bought a small house in a nice neighborhood when you were young. You met many of your neighbors, shared ups and downs with them, and came to love them and depend on them. Yours was a fantastic neighborhood! It had a homeowner's association that kept the place neat and clean and safe. Sure, there were rules, but most agreed those rules provided a better quality of life and were based on wisdom. The president of the HOA was dedicated, committed and had earned the trust of all the residents. Suddenly, after living there 30 or 40years, raising your kids there, and investing thousands in your home and in the lives of those neighbors around you, a new president of the homeowner's association came in. He seemed great at first and you and all your neighbors gave him a standing ovation and were so happy to have a new leader to take the neighborhood to the next level.

Unfortunately, he immediately began to use the very high HOA fees for himself and his family and then began taking up offerings from you to pay for needed things around the neighborhood. You got the feeling that he did not come to your neighborhood to help the neighborhood, but to help HIMSELF and his FAMILY, who he continually made it clear were his priorities over anything and everything else. Anyway, when you asked about where the HOA fees had gone and why we didn't have the budget to continue the things we had been doing before, he gave conflicting answers, criticized you, and told you "you never asked the previous HOA presidents these questions." Then, like Barrack Obama, he started talking about "change" being good without any specific examples of what was going to change for the better. When you talked about what was great about your neighborhood, he accused you of worshiping the previous HOA presidents, worshipping the past and still, you never really saw any change. He seemed angry at you all the time, as he had been at the residents of the neighborhood from Texas he had just come from. HE EVEN HAD YOUR PRIOR HOA PRESIDENT COME IN AND BLAST YOU during a neighborhood appreciation reunion you had planned for your former HOA president. Some were never able to get over that hurt.

Anyway, he also immediately replaced the loving experienced HOA members who had helped make the neighborhood beautiful with people who did not seem to know much about the neighborhood or its needs. Instead, he hired people that knew HIM and his NEEDS. You could call them yes men. He then criticized your neighborhood to others, and your property values begin to fall. So, eventually, you begin to doubt the new man's leadership. When you finally humbly dared asked any questions you were told "if you don't like it, why do you stay - sell your home and leave!!" This shocked you and made you sad, even angry, while revealing the problem was much worse than you had even anticipated. But you made up your mind you would not leave your home. Instead, you would TRY and see what else this guy was up to, hoping others would see it too and simply hold him accountable. Others that supported him instantly accused you of hating him, accused you of attacking him and his family, some called you Satan, some threatened you with heart attacks, some questioned your faith, and some outright threatened physical violence to you and your family. You again were shocked since you had never said you wanted him fired or harmed, but only that you thought he should be open and accountable with ALL the residents. Then he decides to change the HOA charter and bylaws but seems to want to do it with as few of the members knowing the particulars, again raising suspicions.

You see, some wealthier neighbors gave him great gifts and he seemed to give them special favors, which instantly killed the morale of the rest of the neighborhood. Some of those neighbors also complained that the HOA rules were "legalistic" without telling which ones. Some rules the new HOA president liked and would play audiotape of the prior president to persuade you to do what he wanted. Other times, if you mentioned the prior HOA pres, you were labeled as recalcitrant. Anyway, after several months of praying and waiting on God, you finally asked some other neighbors about this situation. As soon as the new pres realized that you were doing this, he sent OTHER neighbors of yours that you knew and trusted, to your home to confront you personally. You were called a coward, yet the new pres never took the time to even attempt to speak with you personally. He just said how busy he was, how many residents he had to deal with it, and he went on vacations and focused on other issues. You were so proud when your HOA pres was elected to a prominent leadership position within the city, yet he disappointed you when he failed to honor his commitment and it was published in the newspaper.

I digress...when the concerns did not go away, the new HOA pres suddenly began to whine like a little girl about how difficult his job was, and how difficult and unloving, and legalistic and lost his residents were...to OTHER HOA presidents. Also, he would be angry and blast ALL the neighbors at HOA meetings, most of whom were not really even aware of the issues he was whining about.

As for blogging about the neighborhood? Sure, this could drive away anyone considering buying in your neighborhood who happen to read your blog instead of going the neighborhood site for information, but so be it. At least new potential buyers of homes would know what they were getting into. But why blog in the first place? Why was a blog necessary? You see, its because you DID send him an email with your name on it and he arrogantly and stubbornly ignored it or gave you a contrite answer and then black listed you. You never felt the same around the neighborhood after that. Many of your long time neighbors did get fed up and leave, and your neighborhood continues to decline after a couple of years.

That's it. I hope it helps you understand how we got here. And every now and then, someone will just happen to drive down your street, ask you if you want any cheese with your wine and tell you to sell your home and move. Others will say you should pray for the new man, others will say let God handle it, and others will say you should simply "be a man" and try talking with the new pres. They just don't get it.

So, this is why I stay at FBC, it is like my neighborhood with a new HOA president the last couple of years. I know this is not a perfect analogy, but I believe it fits.

And I still like my home, my neighborhood, because of the neighbors that are still here, as the HOA president is not the neighborhood.

So I stay.

And I fight. In my own way.

Does this make sense?