Want to Start a Church? Then Get a Job, Pastor - But Only Until You Get Enough Followers to Pay You to Stop Working

In his blog post "How to Plant a Church With Little or No Outside Funding", Les Puryear gives 6 tips on how someone who feels led to start a church can do it without tapping into the SBC resources.

I commend Les for this kind of thinking. Yes, a church can be started without having to tap a financial straw into the SBC Cooperative Program. It can be done with putting no one's money at risk.

But as Les points out, it would require the church planter to do something they are not prone to do, and for which their years at seminary have left them completely unprepared:

They must get a real job. Or what Les calls a "secular" job.

1. Get a Secular Job" is Les's # 1 tip.

Les' plan is for the planter to start a "bible study" in the home, with the idea it will grow into a church plant. So toward this end, Les' offers his explanation about this "secular job", and how long the "planter" must endure it, and how to get out of it, and why it would be good for business:

"Don't take any salary from the new church until the church can meet its financial needs for startup costs and weekly expenses. Also, when you are in a secular job, you are actually around lost people. These are the people you are trying to reach with your new church plant."

Let me give you the Watchdog's "WIV" interpretation of that paragraph:

"Get yourself a real job, but only until you can get enough members into your home bible study to the point you can begin collecting money they earn in THEIR secular jobs, take that money, rent some space for your church, quit your real job, and then begin drawing an income as a "pastor". And in the meantime you can use the opportunity of rubbing elbows with lost people in your secular job to invite them to your bible study, where you can teach them tithing and they can begin contributing money toward the goal of quitting your job and becoming their pastor."

I know that is cynical. But if a pastor can get a "secular job", and if they are a solid bible teacher and have a bible study in their home, why must the natural progression be: get job - start bible study - collect money from those who do work - quit job - rent space - become pastor - have church?

Why can't a church planter just do what most committed Christians do: they have careers and families, and they serve the body of Christ for free as a part of their time away from work. I have seen the most committed Christians lay people work a full time job, AND be incredibly productive in ministry at a church for no pay at all.

I think Les' use of the word "secular job" is significant. I know he is using it to differentiate from a "religious" job such as a pastor...but let's be real. I wish pastors would stop viewing their jobs as ministers as something different or "special" from those who work in "secular" jobs. Their jobs as minister is "secular" every bit as much as a school teacher's or a doctor, or anyone else. They have a job, they have an employer, they have a boss to whom they are accountable, they have a job description, and they earn pay in exchange for their services. They get evaluated, and they earn raises based on their tenure and performance. I know pastors and ordained ministers say they were "called by God" into their ministry, but they are working stiffs like anyone else is. A pastor or a minister is not any more called into their profession than an engineer, doctor, or educator, or electrician, etc.

I also noticed that Les advocates "have your wife get a secular job" and putting the kiddos in public school. Yes, "have" her (make her, as she must obey you) go out and get a secular job, too. Les says she needs to be around "lost people", so get her out there to make a buck to help you start your church.

My advice for Les: keep your secular job, maybe even go to night school and re-educate yourself to get a better job, but keep your Bible study in your home. If you teach tithing to your attendees, have them tithe and imagine what good you could accomplish in your community helping people with that cash flow that does not have to go to buildings, utilities, and salaries. If the bible study gets too big, then sure, rent out the YMCA for your meetings. Or meet at a library or a conference room of one of your attendees' employers.

It is called "home church" or "organic church" - a church without a team of men who demand payment for their ministry services, and they are becoming more and more popular.

You, Your Pastor, Non-Tithers, NIV-Readers, and the Will of God

In the spirit of wanting to educate my readers at every opportunity, I am providing the visual aid to the left so that Watchdog readers know where they stand in relation to the will of God, their pastor, non-tithers, and everyone else.

The large circle is the "permissive will of God", the inner circle in which the pastor resides, is the "perfect will of God".

This came from the website "Stuff Fundies Like" (definitely need to add this to your Google Reader list), so visit the site (direct link to the article here) and read the commandments concerning the will of God for your life.

On a side note: I hope you like my new outfit I'm sporting in my new profile picture. Lately I've been reading the "Fashion Fridays" posts over at Maurilio's blog where he gives fashion tips for males (I'm being serious now), and decided to upgrade my wardrobe to a seersucker suit, monogrammed cuffs and big honkin' cufflinks...and a Rolex watch underneath my cuffs. When I read that Maurilio prefers his genuine Rolex to those fakes he bought overseas, I became very jealous and invested in a genuine Rolex. Just trying to keep up with the mega pastors and their "generosity consultants"!

Christa Brown: Pontius Pilate Washing His Hands - Lesson for Baptist Leaders

"Pilate had the power to release Jesus. But instead he washed his hands, and then he handed Jesus over for crucifixion...So Pilate evaded responsibility and passed the guilt for Jesus’ crucifixion on to others. He made a big show of it. He had a wash basin brought out, and he stood before the crowd washing his hands....Southern Baptist leaders make a big show as well....Rather than use their power for the protection of innocent kids -- a power they have surely shown when other issues troubled them -- Baptist leaders choose to do nothing. They wash their hands of clergy sex abuse and leave the problem up to the crowd." Excerpt from Christa Brown's article "Pontius Pilot holds lesson on clergy sex abuse", 4/18/11.

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One of my modern-day Christian heroes is Christa Brown. She has stood up for clergy sex abuse victims for a long time, calling for Baptist churches and leaders to put resources into tracking predator pastors and paying for counseling and healing of victims....and she has done it all in the face of criticism from Southern Baptist leaders like Frank Page and Paige Patterson.

Christa herself is a victim of rape and sexual abuse as a teen at the hands of her baptist pastor who committed his deeds while quoting scripture. As she tells in her book This Little Light, when she finally came forward to tell her story she was shocked to find this pastor, Tommy Gilmore, still serving in the Southern Baptist Convention.

While the Southern Baptist Machine has no problem "disfellowshipping" churches who ordain woman pastors, they say they can't establish a database to track predator pastors citing the autonomy of SBC churches. No problem meeting and voting to kick out churches who hire female pastors, but they claim they are powerless to take action against churches who harbor pedophiles.

So while the SBC does not track them, Christa Brown does at her website "Stop Baptist Predators". Clergy sex abuse is not just a Roman Catholic Church problem, it is a huge problem amongst Baptists, and we should all be grateful for people like Christa Brown who will not let the issue go.

I know clergy sex abuse is not a beautiful thought for Easter weekend...but as we remember the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we should remember that Jesus Christ in his earthy ministry called for justice over the oppression of the innocent and powerless.

Perry Noble Blames Homosexuality on Non-Tithing Christians

Pastors say the darnedest things; especially when trying to twist peoples arms to convince them they must fork over 10% of their income as the starting point to begin enjoying God's blessings.

Take Perry Noble, pastor of the fast-growing Newspring Church based in Anderson, SC.

As you'll see in the clip below from a sermon in March 2011 entitled "Greed" - which is a sermon about "greedy Christians" and how like a mob boss God knocks off greedy people - Perry declares the following:

"Maybe there would be less homosexuality in the world today if there were less greedy Christians who actually cared enough to tithe and spread the gospel."

If in Perry Noble's world there is a direct correlation between "greed" and the rate of "homosexuality" - then we have to lay the blame for homosexuality right at the doorstep of mega church pastors like Noble who despite raking in millions and millions in revenue, in their greed misuse scripture to guilt their congregations into forking over more and more of their income so they can enjoy God's blessings.

For a preacher to believe this and actually preach it should not be surprising. After all, Southern Baptist Mac Brunson tells us that our current economic troubles are a result of God punishing our country because of non-tithing Christians. Brunson also has portrayed God as some sort of cosmic loan shark who collects on what he is owed (10% of your income) by bringing personal misfortune, so you might as well save yourself the trouble and just fork it over. Another SBC'er, Ed Young, Jr. teaches that your career, your family, and your marriage will all suffer if you don't fork it over - in fact he says you're wasting God's time if you show up to church without your tithe check.

Perry Noble is not just some obscure preacher. As I've written about before, Perry is one of the most popular "emergent church" pastors in the world. He started NewSpring Church in 2000 and already it has grown to over 10,000 in attendance each week on five campuses - and with over $20 million dollars in revenue for 2010.

Although Perry was trained at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and did serve as youth pastor in several SBC churches before starting NewSpring in 2000, Perry now has jettisoned most of the SBC traditions in his church except one: he still preaches hot and heavy the false doctrine of storehouse tithing.

If you want to watch the entire sermon entitled "Greed", click here, but be prepared for lots of scripture twisting as Perry regularly does on the topic of tithing.

On the positive side, Perry does help us see just how ridiculous the doctrine of storehouse tithing is. Perry takes the doctrine to its logical conclusion: that all ills in the world can be traced back to people who are robbing the God of the universe by not giving God's man (the preacher) enough money to fulfill his mission of spreading the gospel - by building bigger churches and taking larger salaries.

Thanks, Perry.

FBC Jax Knocks it Out of the Park With Passion Play

I watched the Sunday night FBC Jax Passion Play broadcast live over the Internet. It was the third performance of the weekend.

Truly remarkable - it was an incredible portrayal once again by the FBC Jax musicians and lay people of the life and death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, as they have done in years past. Luke Whitmire, the son of FBC Jax music director Jim Whitmire, did a great job again portraying Jesus.

The FBC Jax media department tweeted that they had a full house Sunday night, and several hundred in overflow, and over a thousand watching on the Internet.

Kudos to Jim Whitmire and the choir and the orchestra and the media team and all those involved in the production of this event. I doubt you could find a production like this anywhere else - and FBC Jax provides this for free for everyone to attend.

I recall last year on their local TV broadcast FBC Jax played a video giving a behind-the-scenes look of the making of this production, and it is truly amazing what all of these lay people do.

If you missed the Passion Play this year, be sure to catch it next year live, in person - or on the Internet which is broadcast in crystal clear HD.

The Tithe Turns the Gospel Into Bad News to the Poor: Obama's Church Asks the Poor to Tithe, and Then Some

As you see above, even President Obama's old church, Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, formerly pastored by Jeremiah Wright, has a pastor who tells the poor in his congregation they must tithe to receive God's blessings - and they embarked on a campaign to get people to give MORE than the tithe. This campaign of "next level giving" is the pathway to more and more of God's material blessings.

The tithing doctrine knows no bounds. It doesn't matter if the church is a Southern Baptist mega or micro. It can be a huge emergent church, or it can be in the chapel of a baptist seminary. It is taught by the Mormons. Even Islam requires a percentage of gain from its faith community. Even the ancient Mesopotamians had their God, "Marduke the Moon God" require a tithe of his subjects.

As Frank Viola and George Barna say in their book "Pagan Christianity":

"If a believer wishes to tithe out of a personal decision or conviction, that is fine. Tithing becomes a problem when it is represented as God's command, binding upon every believer. Under the Old Testament system, tithing was good news to the poor. However, in our day, mandatory tithing equals oppression to the poor. Not a few poor Christians have been thrown into deeper poverty because they have felt obligated to give beyond their means."

And so it is today. Even Paige Patterson told his poor seminary students they are poor because they rob God of the tithe. He said he had to borrow money at times to keep his tithe commitment. He said God CANNOT bless someone who is not tithing. Is that the message to Christians? Borrow if you have to because that is the requirement for God to bless you? Put your tithe on your credit card?

Viola and Barna continue:

"[Christians] have been told if they do not tithe, they are robbing God and breaking his command. In such cases, the gospel is no longer 'good news to the poor'. Rather it becomes a heavy burden. Instead of liberty, it becomes oppression. We are so apt to forget that the original tithe that God established for Israel was to benefit the poor, not hurt them!"

Indeed, and this makes it quite disturbing when you see an inner-city church that has so many poor people, when their wealthy preacher stands in front of them to teach the 10% tithe is the beginning point to trusting God, and giving above the tithe is the pathway to prosperity. The preacher in the video is communicating during his illustration that if you give ABOVE the tithe, God will give you MORE and thus you can give more. I wonder if this pastor would recommend people on welfare to tithe out of their poverty? I've heard a Southern Baptist preacher in Nashville recently recommend that. It is all prosperity gospel.

So while tithing is bad news to the poor, it is good news to the rich in modern day America, as Barna and Viola write:

"Conversely, contemporary tithing is good news to the rich. To a high earner, 10 percent is a paltry sum. Tithing, therefore, appeases the consciences of the prosperous without impacting their lifestyle."

I would take this a step further, it is a doctrine that allows pastors of very large churches to amass huge personal fortunes through the generosity of their followers. If these wealthy mega church pastors actually followed the principles of giving in the New Testament rather than the Old, they would give most of their fortune away and live more modest lives. No better example of this is Obama's church, Trinity United Church of Christ: the church built their pastor, Jeremiah Wright, a 1.6 million dollar home. Must have taken quite a bit of yam tithing to buy that house!

ECFA Webinar: "Unleash a Generosity Surge at Your Church" - NOT a Spoof

You think my April Fool's spoof and the Alec Baldwin video are over the line, or they are not realistic?

Well, today the Evangelical Council of Financial Accountability (ECFA) has announced a "Growing Generous Givers" webinar this Thursday, April 7th, for only $35!! Notice the preacher's head and the backdrop of Benjamins and Jeffersons and personal checks. Perfect.

One of the tag lines of the conference: Unleash A Generosity Surge at Your Church in a Sluggish Economy.

The same group that Senator Grassley is hoping will encourage churches to be more financially transparent and thus avoid federal legislation in the area of religious organization fund raising - is actually hosting a webinar to help churches squeeze more money out of their people. And their logo has a pastor's head overlay-ed on top of a pile of money. I'm sure Grassley is going to love that! It would have been better to have him with a fist full of cash in his hand!

Who has ECFA hired for their webinar? Why none other than "bestselling generosity author" Brian Kluth, also described as "one of the world's leading authorities on charitable giving and generosity". Experts in generosity? Can't we just call it what it is: "fund raiser". We've had people for decades know how to "raise funds", but in the church that wouldn't go over well, so we call them "generosity consultants".

Click here to see Brian Kluth's "Maximum Generosity" website where churches can buy his resources on how to get your people to be more generous. Can't be too much longer and we'll see informercials on this.

If we have "generosity experts" marketing their wares to pastors, how long before the SBC seminaries start pumping out PhD's in "generosity"? Shouldn't every mega church have a PhD in "generosity", aka "fund raising"?

Look below at the blurbs from the ECFA website and blast email - while the speaker isn't using Alec Baldwin's "AIDA" approach, it is awfully close: the five I's: Instruct, Inspire, Influence, Involve, and Ignite!

And of course, he'll explain three things you can do, pastor, to increase giving 10% in the next 12 months.

Here's a strategy: how about preach the gospel, convert the lost, and then just let the Holy Spirit grow your church and let them give according to New Testament standards?

Nope, the gospel and Jesus aren't good enough anymore. We need more. We need to pay generosity consultants to tell our pastors how to tell us how to give more money and stop being stingy.

Preach Jesus, love people, teach people to love Jesus, and see what happens.

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This dynamic webinar will provide your church pastor, staff, and/or committee members with…

• Key highlights from 1,500+ Churches on the STATE of the PLATE Research on Giving/Budgeting/Generosity

• Valuable insights from 1,400+ Families on the VIEW from the PEW Research on Finances/Debt/Giving

• The 5 I’s: Proven Ways to INSTRUCT, INSPIRE, INFLUENCE, INVOLVE, and IGNITE people to greater generosity and increased giving

• 3 Things Any Church Can Do to Help Increase Giving 10% or More in the Next 12 Months

• $60 IN FREE BONUS MATERIALS: 50 Best Practices & 80 Best Websites to Increase Church Giving eBook ($29.95 Value) with a 12 Month Stewardship Planning Calendar Worksheet, State of the Plate Executive Summary ($14.95 Value), and View from the Pew Executive Summary ($14.95 Value)

• Opportunity for Q&A

This webinar will encourage generosity in your church as we review the results from the State of the Plate and the View from the Pew surveys.

AIDA: "Attention, Interest, Decision, Action": Secret Video of Generosity Consultant Speech to Church Pastors

In the video below you'll see a church generosity consultant giving a pep rally to preachers whose sheep are not tithing. The preachers are a bit depressed as you'll see in the video, as their coffers are not full, people are not bringing the tithes into their storehouse.

What is the answer? Why the answer is: AIDA: Attention, Interest, Decision, Action.

Pastors, stop blaming the sheep for the lack of funds, and look at yourselves. This particular generosity consultant gives some tough love to the pastors, telling them that the problem is with THEM. Pastors, if you want the sheep to give more under the law of tithing, then you have to MOTIVATE them. And AIDA is the answer. From the pulpit you have to get their attention, spark an interest, move them to a decision to tithe, and then make sure they follow-up with action. So simple.

What was the "money" quote from the motivational speech? Here is a tweet that one of the pastors posted during the speech:

@depressedpastor: @megaconsultant says "They're sitting out there, waiting to give U their money! Are U gonna take it? Are U MAN ENOUGH to take it?" Amen, PTL!

Pastors: if you aren't man enough to take their money through preaching the tithe, then you can hire a generosity consultant who will help. But it must be done either by you, or by someone else.

Good luck pastors, and remember: if people are obligated to tithe under the law, how are they to know they are to tithe, unless the man of God reminds them over and over and over of their obligation. Sheep are stupid, and they forget, and they need someone to remind them. :)

Tomorrow: in all seriousness, I will show you what it looks and sounds like when a pastor is honest with his people about the issue of Christian, New Testament giving. Most people who have been in evangelical churches their whole lives have never heard anything even close to this, and it might be a shock.

More Tithing Madness: Jacksonville Pastor Lays Down the Law, Calls Members "Heel Grabbers" and "Supplanters"

Just when you think you've heard it all, you hear another pastor ripping his congregation up one side and down the other for not tithing. I have heard from members at several churches in Jacksonville who have said their pastors preached heretical sermons on tithing.

The first one is by pastor Charlie Campbell of The Bridge Church of Jacksonville. In the sermon excerpts you'll hear below, Pastor C uses the story of Jacob and Esau in the Old Testament to tell his congregation if they aren't giving 10%, they are "heel grabbers" and "supplanters", just like 'ol Jacob was. He takes that passage totally out of context, applies it directly to Christians under the New Covenant.

"Jacob" means "heel grabber", or "trickster" or possibly "swindler". Yes, now a preacher is using the Old Testament story of Jacob stealing Esau's birthright to convince people who don't tithe that they too, like Jacob, are swindlers...but not of a man, but actually swindler's of God Himself.

You really have to hear this to believe it. It is on par with Ed Young's sermon from last October. Pastor Charlie's sermon is a grueling hour and 10 minutes, and can be listened in its entirety here. Below are audio excerpts, but here are a few choice quotes:

"If you ain't doin' your money God's way, what do you think you're doin' but heel grabbin' and supplantin'?"

"You need to trust God. You need to get your paycheck, look at what the amount is, take a multiplier, times 0.1, whatever the answer is, write it out, don't think about it, and put it to the local church. You do it with FICA, and you don't complain about them. Or you do, but you don't do nuthin' about it 'cause you can't do nuthin' about it. And if God was just as aggressive you might be blessed. I don't see you calling up Obama asking for your money back."

Then, mockingly:

"'I'm not a heel grabber. I'm not a supplanter. I don't lie and cheat and steal.' You lie and cheat and steal when you don't trust God and do what he says....'God, I don't got 10 percent'. OH GOD KNOWS YOU GOT IT. You may not be heel grabbin' me, but you're heel grabbin' Him. And I'm sorry, you might heel grab me and get away with it, but when you grab the heel of the 'big man upstairs' he don't like that too much."

Then he threatens to put people out of the church if he knew what each individual gave.

"'How do you know I'm not doing what I should?' Because I see the finances of this church....If I saw what each one of you all gave, I would get up in your stuff and I'd say 'don't you dare call my phone'....I'd call you out when you start worshippin' the Lord. I'd say, 'stop the music, come here John, sit down, that's all the song you get, you get half a song'.....aren't you glad I don't look at the finances...I would be so upset I would talk about you from the platform."

It gets worse than that. Listen to the complete audio.

Ironically, this church right now has a huge media blitz in our city advertising their Easter service where they will be giving away to 8 attenders a month's payment for their electric bill. They're on TV, billboards, YouTube video, even a special website.

Yes, they want to get you to their church with the idea that you might get free utilities. Perhaps you'll visit their church, and you join their church and maybe accept Jesus, even win a couple of hundred bucks in a raffle. But eventually you'll be presented with the terrible news they won't tell you in their TV ads or in the Easter service: you're a liar, a robber, a heel-grabber, unless you give 10%. Jesus died and rose again, but gosh darn it He needs your 10% and the secret is: Jesus wants you to give it to Pastor Campbell's church.

This quote is sad, from the local news story on the church's raffle:

"Campbell spends every Sunday on a stage giving people hope during tough times by preaching faith. 'The church is about reaching people, and it's about getting something to people to help them where they are,' he said.

And on Easter Sunday he is hoping to do just that through his sermon, and by easing the strain on your wallet."

That is the bait and switch. Does Pastor Campbell really want to ease strains on people's wallets in Jacksonville? Or does he want to entice more people to his church using a raffle and a gimmick so he can eventually convince them to be tithers for the sake of Jesus?

God help us. Please deliver us from churches who are infatuated more with the money in people's pockets than they are with the needs of people and the souls of men.

Announcing Al Mohler's "Save Them From Their Ignorance" Weekend Retreat for Pastors

Announcing Al Mohler's
"Save Them From Their Ignorance" Weekend Retreat for Pastors!

Pastors are God's appointed agents to save His sheep from ignorance, says Al Mohler!

"...we believe that those who teach and preach the word of God are God-appointed agents to save God's people from ignorance." Al Mohler, FBC Jax, Feb 2011

After the incredible response to his sermon on saving the sheep from their ignorance, Dr. Mohler has put together a power-packed, God-anointed and God-appointed retreat to help YOU, pastor, save your sheep from their ignorance!

Research shows that sheep are really stupid, ignorant animals, just like your average church member. But you, pastor/shepherd, need to learn the secrets to helping lower your sheep's collective IQ - that is their "ignorance quotient" - in several key areas.

And what pastor out there hasn't had that awful experience of having your God-anointed ministry hindered by some ignorant sheep? Don't sit and wait for that to happen to YOU. YOU must save them, to help save your ministry so God's work can be done!

And to help you SAVE YOUR SHEEP from their ignorance....Al Mohler has brought together the greatest minds of modern evangelicalism to EQUIP YOU in one IGNORANCE-BUSTING, GOD TRUSTING WEEKEND!

For $399.99 here is what you get!

Stingy Sheep Seminar
Some of the latest sheep research shows that sheep in the pasture can be awfully stingy. They are hoarders! And when the shepherd tries to fleece them, they actually will get nervous, sometimes angry and will tend to bite the sheerer.

And just like the sheep in the pasture, your sheep in the pew can be quite stingy also, hindering your ability to do what Jesus has commanded you to do. In Dr. Mohler's "Stingy Sheep Seminar" You will learn from the best shepherds who know how to fleece while keeping the sheep smiling:

• Ed Young will share his secrets for motivating sheep to sign up for automatic withdraw of their income. He will teach YOU how to teach your sheep how to move the decimal point to calculate the tithe, and how to remember whether to move it to the right or to the left! No need to wait for stingy, forgetful sheep to write a check - you need to pull that income directly from the sheep baaah'nk accounts and Ed will show you the way!
  
• Perry Noble will share his secrets on how to intimidate the sheep who don't tithe, what name-calling techniques are most effective, and what out-of-context verses to use to convince the sheep that the Bible actually does say they must give 10% of their income
  
• Did you know how serious stingy sheep are? Mac Brunson and Steve Gaines will share just how stingy sheep actually have brought our economy to its knees - and how YOU, pastor, hold the keys to saving our economy by motivating your sheep to tithe! They'll share the importance of letting the sheep know that "God collects".
  
• Creflo Dollar will be there to discuss ways that the really stupid sheep can be "put to sleep" - what use does a shepherd have for a non-fleece producing sheep? Creflo will share his secrets.

Special Bonus for early-bird registrants: you will get a signed DVD of the infamous Ed Young 10/10/10 tithing sermon that has been (mostly) wiped off the Internet. Learn from the master how to get people to give 0.1 of their income to your ministry!

Slandering Sheep Seminar
Sheep are slanderers by nature. They are complainers. Research shows sheep are even learning to type and blog.

Your sheep need to be saved from their ignorance in the area of slandering and gossip and criticism! In this seminar, you'll learn how to teach your sheep to shut-up, listen-up, and start shaping up! You'll hear from:

• A.C. Soud will explain the secrets of drafting anti-criticism "deacon's resolutions" to muzzle the sheep. You'll learn the easy 1-2-3's of "unjust criticism" resolution drafting, resolution reading, and resolution voting - and you'll be on your way to shutting down those scuttle-butting sheep!
  
• Thom Rainer will teach you how to motivate your churchmen to corral the slandering sheep in your midst so they will stop their complaining. The easy steps of IDENTIFICATION, ISOLATION, and then INTIMIDATION will be covered!
  
• Georgia Pastor Wayne Bray will discuss how to pass anti-blogging resolutions in your state convention to send the signal to the blogging sheep to put away their keyboards, and get on-board with their shepherd's vision.
  
• You'll hear from church attorneys on how to shut down embarrassing video clips of your sermons, by filing take-down notices claiming copyright infringement with the Internet video host sites. Its as easy as ABC: always be closing!

Seeking the Successful Sheep Seminar
Sheep produce their wool at varying rates. Some are "high capacity", like the longer-wool sheep that produce fibers that are longer and thicker - and are thus much more valuable to the shepherd when it comes time to fleece!

In the "Seeking the Successful Sheep Seminar" you will:

• learn from the brightest church "generosity consultants" how to spot these "high capacity sheep" in your congregation, how to find them in your community, and then most importantly, how to get them into your church so you can "tap into" their vast resources.
  
• sit at the feet of church consultants like Generis and Generous Church as they will be there to teach you how to maximize revenue by helping you cultivate generosity. And we know what "generosity" plus "tithing" means....it means sheep will give more to get close to that 10% giving level of obedience!
  
• Motivational mega-church pastor Alec Baldwin will be on hand for a private, pastors-only motivational speech to get you pastors out on the streets drumming up "business" from the high-capacity sheep. As Pastor Baldwin says "they're out their waiting to give you their money. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it?" See the video clip below of Pastor Baldwin's last motivational speech to Southern Baptist pastors.

Straightening-Out the Sheep Seminar

What is a shepherd to do with recalcitrant sheep? How shall they be brought into line, BEFORE implementing the Creflo Dollar method of "shoot and bury"? Part of saving sheep from their ignorance is to help them see how ignorant they are, and then to apply discipline. Pastors, you'll learn how to:

• Establish discipline committees to find the recalcitrants - having the "right" men on the committee makes all the difference in silencing the sheep!
  
• You'll learn how to write a "Membership Covenant" for the sheep to sign that outlines their responsibilities.
  
• Tips and Tricks to writing letters of sin to aggressively confront your sheep who stray from the pasture
  

Premium Sessions!

For only an additional $99.99, you can attend our "premium sessions" where these topics will be discussed:

• Ergun Caner will be on hand to discuss how sheep ignorance can be used to the shepherd's advantage when building your speaking gig business, er ministry. Remember: ignorant sheep don't question resumes!
• Satellite-church experts will be on hand to describe how to do demographic research to find the best location for satellite churches in areas with sheep having the longest most productive wool - the "high capacity sheep" areas in your county.
  
• Representatives from Crystal Cathedral will be on hand to teach you the ins and outs of "housing allowance" tax advantages for shepherds. Learn the easy steps of: identification, ordination, and tax deduction for all male church staffers.
  
• and much, much more!

All of this and more.....for only $399.99

All attendees will earn an "Honorary Doctorate" from Liberty's School of Theology signed by Dr. Caner, so YOU can be called "Doctor Pastor" by your sheep!!

Register by April 15th, and get our "Tithe Rebate Discount" - we'll return a good old-fashioned 23.33% tithe of your registration BACK to your church.

Act Now to Save the Sheep from Ignorance!