WD Presents "Ballad of Ergun Caner"....as Ergun Leaves SBC and Liberty for WBF Seminary

Ergun Caner finally is saying goodbye to the Southern Baptist Convention. He was saved, educated, employed by, and most importantly for him: he was enriched with money made off of Southern Baptists who were duped by his stories told to our churches over a nine-year period since 9/11.

Ergun reports on his website that he is moving on to be the Provost at Arlington Baptist College, a seminary funded by the "World Baptist Fellowship", a group of fundamentalist baptist churches having no connection to the SBC. Perhaps Ergun was confused, and when he heard that the WBF wanted to hire him, he thought it was the WWF.

Good for us SBC'ers. Good for Ergun. No more of our church or state dollars are going to support Ergun at Liberty University. And no more of our SBC students will be taught in Ergun Caner classrooms.

Ergun is smart. Like any good traveling medicine man selling his magical elixirs and tonics, he knows when it is time to fold the show, load up the stagecoach, and head to the next town to a fresh market who needs a cure for what ails 'em. So Ergun is now moving on to Arlington, Texas and the WBF..and presumably a brand new market of churches and students who come from those churches who haven't heard the yarns and tales of being raised in Europe, terrorist training, and the jokes about mutant grandaughters and ugly women and satellite dish hats.

In honor of Ergun finally leaving the SBC almost exactly 10 years after he shot to stardom in 2001 within the SBC, I present the "Ballad of Ergun Caner", to be sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies:

Come listen to a story about a man named Mike,
A poor preacher man, couldn't find a church he liked,
Then one day, early 11 September morn,
Ergun Mehmet Gioviani Janel Caner was born.
[Muslim that is, shaved head, goatee.]

Well the first thing you know ol' Ergun's a rock star
Jerry Vines said, "Ergun You're Gonna Go Far!"
They said, "Liberty Mountain is the place you oughta be"
So, he loaded up the truck and moved to Virginny.
[Falwell, that is, book deals, preaching gigs.]

Well, the next thing ya know, ole Ergun is found out,
Even Peter Lump and Norm can't erase all the doubt,
Falwell's son says "your time here at Liberty is done",
So he loaded up the truck and moved to Arlington.
[Texas that is, fundamentalist baptist, KJV.]

Well now its time to say goodbye to Caner 'cept Emir his kin.
He would like to thank you SBC dupes fer kindly droppin' in.
You're all invited back to hear his next WBF preaching gig,
To have some cherry Kool Aid and take a heapin' swig.
[Muslim, that is. Trained terrorist. Ex-SBC'er]

Y'all come back now, ya hear?
[banjo solo]

So long, Ergun.