"From the Dog House to the Blog House" by Willie Vincenzo Nazzareno Antonio Watchdog, aka "The Hitman"
subtitled "A Former Devout Sicilian Catholic Mafia member Becomes a Warrior Southern Baptist"
subtitled "A Former Devout Sicilian Catholic Mafia member Becomes a Warrior Southern Baptist"
Watchdog readers have long thought that the Watchdog was just some boring, run-of-the-mill, trespassed church member gone bad. Oh, but you haven't heard the REAL Watchdog story! His name might be just FBC Jax Watchdog, but his birth name is Willie Vincenzo Nazzareno Antonio Watchdog, and he was born and raised as a strict Sicilian Catholic mafia gangster who became a Baptist as a teenager.
And it's all coming out in his new book, and will be retold (embellished) as he tours the world preaching about his old days as a devout teenage mafia gangster raised in a Catholic household and sharing his expertise on all things Catholic and mafia. And oh, can he spin a yarn!
Buy his book and you can meet the real Willie Vincenzo Watchdog, aka "The Hitman". You will laugh, you will cry, you will open your wallet as you read about his life. Willie Vincenzo Watchdog will at long last tell the compelling story of how he was raised a devout Sicilian Catholic by a strict Catholic father, and was disowned when he became a Baptist blogger at the age of somewhere between 13 and 17.
Here are some excerpts from the soon released classic - edited by Watchdog's good friend E. Michael Caner - telling the unique story of Watchdog:
"Vincenzo Antonio Watchdog was born in Norway, but was raised in Europe, Beirut, and Turkey (along the Danube River), before emigrating to Columbus, Ohio, with his Sicilian Italian Catholic Mafia boss father at the age of 12 or 13 or 14 or thereabouts. He risked it all, tearing off his strict Catholic altar boy clothing to come to America and don his Baptist tie and coat."
Hear the Watchdog "The Hitman" describe his very troubled upbringing in his own words:
"Let me tell you something, I submit to you that I was raised in the Sicilian Mafia Cosa Nostra until the age of 15 or 16 or 17 or so, when I came to America....and let me tell you something, I was raised to do the very things that were portrayed in the Godfather I, II, III, and a few of the things in 'Goodfellas' - especially the scene of the guy in the trunk. But when I came to America, I realized I didn't need to kill people anymore."
Hear how Willie Watchdog had to bear the brunt of jokes and ridicule and scorn for his Italian Sicilian Mafia upbringing:
"Vincenzo Antonio Watchdog was born in Norway, but was raised in Europe, Beirut, and Turkey (along the Danube River), before emigrating to Columbus, Ohio, with his Sicilian Italian Catholic Mafia boss father at the age of 12 or 13 or 14 or thereabouts. He risked it all, tearing off his strict Catholic altar boy clothing to come to America and don his Baptist tie and coat."
Hear the Watchdog "The Hitman" describe his very troubled upbringing in his own words:
"Let me tell you something, I submit to you that I was raised in the Sicilian Mafia Cosa Nostra until the age of 15 or 16 or 17 or so, when I came to America....and let me tell you something, I was raised to do the very things that were portrayed in the Godfather I, II, III, and a few of the things in 'Goodfellas' - especially the scene of the guy in the trunk. But when I came to America, I realized I didn't need to kill people anymore."
Hear how Willie Watchdog had to bear the brunt of jokes and ridicule and scorn for his Italian Sicilian Mafia upbringing:
"When I first went to church, I wasn't called 'Dago', or 'Mary worshipper', 'popeblower, 'Mackerel Snapper', or 'Al Pacino'....I got plenty of that OUTSIDE the church....they didn't care that I spoke Italian and was a killer. Oh yes, I said my Hail Marys 5 times a day in the bathroom - that's how devout I was."
And his Sicilian Italian upbringing that led him to think that Americans wanted to kill him:
"Yes, in my upbringing in Europe, Beirut, Turkey, and other mostly Italian countries, I was taught that you Americans hated me for being a Catholic. Did I say I was trained to do that which was done in Godfather I, II, and III, and some of what was done in 'Goodfellas' - especially the scene with the guy in the trunk?"
And about receiving his calling to become a Baptist blogger:
"It was shortly after I became a Baptist, though my English was still poor, though I could not speak as clearly as others, I surrendered to the ministry. I was being called by Gawd to blog - it happened during a trip on a camel up the side of a mountain in Sicily - and I knew God had called me. My brother and sister, if you are in this room, within the sound of my voice, I tell you that though I was in the Mafia, you are at war as well. Because though you are at war with God, God wants to win you, not kill you."
Wow!! What a conversion story Watchdog has to tell! You will agree, Watchdog is a true WARRIOR!!!!
So put in your advance order for the story of the Watchdog...time is short!
Stay tuned for Watchdog's upcoming books, after his star rises:
"Unveiling Catholicism: An Insider's Look at Catholicism"
"Unveiling Cosa Nostra: An Insider's Look at the Mafia"
"Unveiling False Biographies"
"Unveiling the Unveiling: An Insider's Look at Unveiling things that Need to be Unveiled"
"Veiling Your Biography: An Insider's Look at Writing a Fancy Biography to Get Good Speaking Gigs and Book Deals."
"The Art of Speaking Jibberish"
"How to Fit Your Fibs to Your Audience"
"The Rise and Fall of Ex-Satanist Mike Warnke: Lessons on How Not to Embellish One's Testimony"
"Satellite Dish Hats, Curtain Rods, and Shoes that Match their Cars - A Humorous Look at the African American Worship Experience" [click here for context]
"More than a Pope: An Insider's Response to Catholic Beliefs"
"Mafia Jihad: Two Former Mafia Members (Watchdog and Brother Marmaduke) Look at the Crusades and Killing in the Name of Gotti"
"Why Baptist Churches Die - 101 Ways You Stupid Sheep Mess Up a Pastor's Ministry" - Written with Watchdog's Good Friend
"Out of the Sicilian Shadows: Leading Catholic Women out of the Doghouse"
"The Art of Speaking Jibberish"
"How to Fit Your Fibs to Your Audience"
"The Rise and Fall of Ex-Satanist Mike Warnke: Lessons on How Not to Embellish One's Testimony"
"Satellite Dish Hats, Curtain Rods, and Shoes that Match their Cars - A Humorous Look at the African American Worship Experience" [click here for context]
"More than a Pope: An Insider's Response to Catholic Beliefs"
"Mafia Jihad: Two Former Mafia Members (Watchdog and Brother Marmaduke) Look at the Crusades and Killing in the Name of Gotti"
"Why Baptist Churches Die - 101 Ways You Stupid Sheep Mess Up a Pastor's Ministry" - Written with Watchdog's Good Friend
"Out of the Sicilian Shadows: Leading Catholic Women out of the Doghouse"
Also, if you want to join Willie Vincenzo Nazzareno Watchdog on a trip to the Holy Land, including a tour of his homeland in Turkey, Norway, Italy (Sicily), and a brief "cruise down the Danube" and other areas where Watchdog was raised, STAY TUNED! Coming in April 2014!!!
You stole my idea. You will be hearing from my attorneys.
ReplyDeleteYou stole my idea. You will be hearing from my attorney.
ReplyDeleteAu contraire mon ami! This mighty dawg of Gawd will sue YOU for that is what mighty dawg's of Gawd do!!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the book release but what percentage of my meager income will I need to donate to get an autographed copy?
ReplyDeleteDawg, if you aint careful, some Georgia Baptist college will try to hire you to get itself a warrior that is a man of imaginary integrity, and before you know it, every Second Baptist church in the country will be expecting you to share your story with youth groups (for a nominal fee of course). Just be careful of those pesky bloggers. Those guys must be of the devil. Demanding truth and integrity, and expecting leaders to have character, and all that. Surely they can't be men of God for expecting such ridiculous things.
ReplyDeleteSounds very interesting!! Can't wait to read it. Do you think you can get some CD's to go along with it and possibly get a section in some church book stores to sell it all? Maybe even a reality TV show?
ReplyDeleteDog - Are you lawyered up to go after anyone who questions your story?
ReplyDeleteHey, hope you get to own nearly a million dollars worth of real estate, get lots of traffic tickets and land the presidency of a college!
ReplyDeletelol Great satire to illustrate the situation. I especially liked, "Unveiling the Unveiling: An Insider's Look at Unveiling things that Need to be Unveiled" Didn't you debate "Ala Capone"?
ReplyDeleteA new fake Ergun Caner video!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtvh2AcvUWs
The video spoofs this real one
http://vimeo.com/73884062