Reminder of Why We Have Pompous Pastors in the Pulpit: They Learned it from the Master Manipulator Himself, Lord Paige Patterson

The next installment of the "Best of FBC Jax Watchdog" is a must see for all SBC church members. If you wonder why so many SBC pastors are pompous jackasses in the pulpit strutting around and popping off with phony doctrines to manipulate the sheep, your answer is right here.

Below I have captured a seminary chapel sermon preached by Lord Paige Patterson, on tithing. He has the audacity to say college students are poor because they don't tithe, then brags about his own level of giving. I've already documented on this blog the truth about tithing from SBC bible scholars like David Croteau and Andreas Kostenberger - but at SWBTS the up and coming pastors are instead taught the phony-baloney theology of Patterson to manipulate church members.

I'm not kidding, watching this explains so much of what we see in SBC churches today - wannabe Paige Pattersons who think their arrogance and pride comes across as intelligence and wisdom to the pew sitter.

Watch and learn. The Watchdog has captured this for your education and edification. That's right. Amen and amen.

Enjoy.

FBC Jax Watchdog

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"Young people, one of the reasons that you're poor, is because you've been cheating on God...I'm just saying many of you are poor because God can't bless you when you're stealing from him." Paige Patterson to his SWBTS Seminary Students in Chapel 4/5/11

Paige Patterson entered the tithing debate in his SWBTS chapel sermon from 4/5/11 on the 8th commandment "thou shalt not steal". And of course no self-respecting Southern Baptist will teach on stealing, without touching on the worst form of stealing: robbing God by failing to give 10% of their income to the local church. Let's all say the eighth commandment: "thou shalt not, not tithe."
Patterson told his students that one of the reasons they are poor, is because they're robbing God of the tithe. But of course, he goes on to explain how wonderfully blessed he is, because when he was 15 years old he made a vow to God that he would give 20% of his income to the Lord in exchange for a pulpit to preach in every Sunday.
Patterson even says at times he had to borrow money to keep his 20% vow to the Lord. Perhaps Patterson wants his students to be tithing on their Pell Grants and federal student loans. Should they tithe on their "increase" when dear 'ol dad sends a few hundred bucks for expenses?
You'll also see and hear in the video where Patterson puts the principle of the tithe on par with one of the ten commandments. Really - you have to see it to believe it.
Someone needs to remind Patterson that according to the Old Testament standard, he too is robbing God, because 20% is still short of the 23 1/3% annual amount specified in the bible. And I think Jesus said something to the rich young ruler about selling all of his possessions. But Jesus apparently smiles on Patterson's 20%, and punishes the seminary students with poverty for their stinginess.
I can't decide which is more disgusting: watching a wealthy preacher who has literally traveled the world and made millions off of the generosity of Christians his whole life, tell these same Christians that they are poor because they don't tithe....or the thought that his students at his seminary listen and believe him, and will then repeat this rubbish to their own congregations.
This message really does harken back to the Catholic church and indulgences: telling the poor to give their alms to the religious institution so that they and their seed may be blessed by God - while the religious leaders live high on the hog as evidence of how God has blessed them and not the plebe.
SWBTS seminary students, do you really buy this? And are you going to teach this doctrine to your churches?
Pastor search committee members: you might want to play this video when interviewing any SWBTS seminary grads and ask your prospective hire if they really believe this taught by their seminary's high priest.
Watch the video above and enjoy, as you watch legalism and prosperity gospel - Southern Baptist Style - in full display.

Best of WD: "Want to Start a Church? Then Get a Job, Pastor"

From the 2011 Watchdog archives, below is an article commenting on "church planters".

I still wince when I hear full-time ministers discuss THEIR profession as being "in the ministry", while everyone else holds "secular" jobs.

Not saying that the job of minister or pastor is a piece of cake, but those "in the ministry" should see what the peeps jobs are like, working 60 hours a week, no affirmation, no "sabbaticals" for a "time of refreshing".

Anyways, enjoy this installment of "The Best of WD":

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In his blog post "How to Plant a Church With Little or No Outside Funding", Les Puryear gives 6 tips on how someone who feels led to start a church can do it without tapping into the SBC resources.

I commend Les for this kind of thinking. Yes, a church can be started without having to tap a financial straw into the SBC Cooperative Program. It can be done with putting no one's money at risk.

But as Les points out, it would require the church planter to do something they are not prone to do, and for which their years at seminary have left them completely unprepared:

They must get a real job. Or what Les calls a "secular" job.

1. Get a Secular Job" is Les's # 1 tip.

Les' plan is for the planter to start a "bible study" in the home, with the idea it will grow into a church plant. So toward this end, Les' offers his explanation about this "secular job", and how long the "planter" must endure it, and how to get out of it, and why it would be good for business:

"Don't take any salary from the new church until the church can meet its financial needs for startup costs and weekly expenses. Also, when you are in a secular job, you are actually around lost people. These are the people you are trying to reach with your new church plant."

Let me give you the Watchdog's "WIV" interpretation of that paragraph:

"Get yourself a real job, but only until you can get enough members into your home bible study to the point you can begin collecting money they earn in THEIR secular jobs, take that money, rent some space for your church, quit your real job, and then begin drawing an income as a "pastor". And in the meantime you can use the opportunity of rubbing elbows with lost people in your secular job to invite them to your bible study, where you can teach them tithing and they can begin contributing money toward the goal of quitting your job and becoming their pastor."

I know that is cynical. But if a pastor can get a "secular job", and if they are a solid bible teacher and have a bible study in their home, why must the natural progression be: get job - start bible study - collect money from those who do work - quit job - rent space - become pastor - have church?

Why can't a church planter just do what most committed Christians do: they have careers and families, and they serve the body of Christ for free as a part of their time away from work. I have seen the most committed Christians lay people work a full time job, AND be incredibly productive in ministry at a church for no pay at all.

I think Les' use of the word "secular job" is significant. I know he is using it to differentiate from a "religious" job such as a pastor...but let's be real. I wish pastors would stop viewing their jobs as ministers as something different or "special" from those who work in "secular" jobs. Their jobs as minister is "secular" every bit as much as a school teacher's or a doctor, or anyone else. They have a job, they have an employer, they have a boss to whom they are accountable, they have a job description, and they earn pay in exchange for their services. They get evaluated, and they earn raises based on their tenure and performance. I know pastors and ordained ministers say they were "called by God" into their ministry, but they are working stiffs like anyone else is. A pastor or a minister is not any more called into their profession than an engineer, doctor, or educator, or electrician, etc.

I also noticed that Les advocates "have your wife get a secular job" and putting the kiddos in public school. Yes, "have" her (make her, as she must obey you) go out and get a secular job, too. Les says she needs to be around "lost people", so get her out there to make a buck to help you start your church.

My advice for Les: keep your secular job, maybe even go to night school and re-educate yourself to get a better job, but keep your Bible study in your home. If you teach tithing to your attendees, have them tithe and imagine what good you could accomplish in your community helping people with that cash flow that does not have to go to buildings, utilities, and salaries. If the bible study gets too big, then sure, rent out the YMCA for your meetings. Or meet at a library or a conference room of one of your attendees' employers.

It is called "home church" or "organic church" - a church without a team of men who demand payment for their ministry services, and they are becoming more and more popular.

Get Ready for the Best of the FBC Jax Watchdog

Hi Readers - in between my attempts at satire, I will be publishing some of the best and eternally relevant (in my humble, but correct, opinion) blog posts over the past 10 years. There is a lot to choose from - nearly 900 blog posts.

As I peruse these older posts, I'm shocked at some of the shenanigans these charlatan pastors have tried to pull, and every so often it is worth revisiting these so maybe the new converts to the mega church scene can be warned.

Some of you old timers remember when Teddy Kennedy in the 1970's and maybe early 1980's would every so often float the idea of running for president, reporters would go into their proverbial closets and get out their notes on the Mary Jo Kopechne tragedy. Teddy would quickly realize they still have the goods on him, and his aspirations would be dashed. So, too, us bloggers should revisit the shenanigans of mega church pastors.

It seems the more churches and pastors change, the more things stay the same. So much of what I've written is still so relevant, and so needed - again, in my truly humble opinion.

So get ready, and ENJOY.

FBCJW

Perry Noble Announces His New Church in South Carolina - The Church of Universal Life at Timmonsville

Timmonsville, SC (WD) - Sources close to Perry Noble say he is only days away from announcing the location of his new church - the Church of Universal Life at Timmonsville (CULT) - a little more than one year after being dismissed as senior pastor at the church he founded, Newspring Church based in Anderson.

Noble's new start-up church will be located in Timmonsville, SC, in the eastern half of South Carolina just outside of Florence, about 200 miles away from Newspring Church.

Sources say that Noble plans to build the church rapidly into an international church, with satellite CULT's planned from Toronto, followed by Tallahassee, Florida.

An Hispanic satellite in Bradenton, Florida is planned, and will be called Church de Life Universal at Bradenton (CLUB).

Perry says his CULT locations will be built on the emphasis of the "universal love of God for all people", along with the love expressed for God through the tithing of his followers.

"My greatest regret in having left Newspring was not being able to continue to teach and warn Christians of the danger of not tithing," said Noble. "Our CULT will be built through the faithful tithing of our CULT members, and the Lord will certainly prosper."

Ark Encounter Announces "Eeyore the Talking Donkey" Exhibit

Williamstown, KY (WD) - The Ark Encounter evangelical Christian theme park has announced this week their plans for a new "Eeyore the Talking Donkey" exhibit - based after the historical Old Testament story of Balaam's talking donkey documented in Numbers 22:21-29.

"Eyore is one of the most beloved talking donkey characters in children folklore," said Alan Barnes of Ark Encounter, "So our exhibit design team determined that the truthfulness of Balaam's talking donkey in the Old Testament can best be shown to our younger visitors by tying it to the character of Eyore in A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh children's classic."

Barnes says the initial exhibit design will depict Balaam as Christopher Robin, who will be shown beating Eeyore. The angels that appeared in the road that caused Eeyore to stop and crush Christopher Robin's foot (as described in Numbers 22:25) will be shown as Piglet and little Roo, hanging by their tails from a tree branch.

"When smaller children see the Eeyore exhibit, they will be able to connect the idea of a talking donkey they have learned about in bedtime stories, to the historical, factual account of the Lord causing a donkey to talk to a man named Balaam thousands of years ago." said Barnes. "Additionally, the nail holding Eeyore's tail in place is a reminder to the boys and girls of the nails that held Jesus to the cross, and paid for the children's sins."

According to Barnes, other ideas for the exhibit include the Donkey character from the Shrek series, and Baba Looey, the fictional Mexican burro in the Quick Draw McGraw cartoon series from the 1970's.