"...When He [Jesus] saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." Matt 9:36

"Do not rob the poor, because he is poor... for the Lord will take up their case and plunder those who plunder them." Proverbs 22:22-23

Friday, May 20, 2011

Watchdog Bids Farewell: His Last Post, Unless....

Unfortunately, upcoming events have led me to decide now is the time for me to lay down the blogging pen and say goodbye to all of my blogging friends.

You see, I have heard from my pastor, Harold Camping (the picture at left really is him, it is not a wax figure at the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" museum in St. Augustine), that the end of the world is Saturday, May 21st...my pastor has told me that Jesus is coming back and taking all of his true believers with him to heaven tomorrow.

And if Jesus comes back, and by the slimmest of chances I'm actually a Christian - which many of my pastor friends here tell me I'm NOT - I suppose I'm going with Jesus, and all of you recalcitrants who read this blog in defiance of your pastor, will be left behind and I won't have a chance to say goodbye.

And if, as my pastor friends say, I really am a hell-bound reprobate, unregenerate sinner - because I am a "fractious man" who stirs up trouble who should be left alone and isolated, then I will probably be left here to suffer tribulation while all the non-Calvinist, tithing Southern Baptist mega church pastors are in heaven with Jesus, and there will be nothing left to blog about. All the pastors will leave me behind and will be leading their followers on the ultimate "Holy Land Trip" paid for by their latest tithe check. My pastor tells me that Jesus will take us on a cruise down the Danube on our way to heaven, with a stop in Rome for shopping.

So I figure it is best for me to cover both bases and say "goodbye"....unless my pastor is wrong and the world doesn't actually end on Saturday, in which case never mind - I'll see you all on Sunday with my next blog post.

See you all on the other side, or back here on May 22nd.

I'm heading off to make my tinfoil hat.

Blessings to all!

29 comments:

Long Time FBC Jax Member said...

Whatever happens, know that you are loved and appreciated, Watchdog !! I'm sure there is a big air conditioned dog house waiting for you, and all the treats you can eat. Love your hat. Keep up the great work !!

Anonymous said...

He made the same claims in his book 1998! I guess he does not ready his bible much!

Lynn said...

Yep, if it happens or doesn't, not much we can do to change it. So good luck to us all!

Dr Who said...

Lynn,

Baptist do not believe in "luck" especially the Calvinistic ones.

And oh yeah watchdog, remember to change your dog uniform, Baptist say Dogs can't go to heaven.

And we all know Baptist Pastors will not and do not lie.

seeing eye cat said...

didn't God give you the "ministry" of "criticism" through the "spiritual gifts" of sarcasm, unreleased hurt, and pride? Surely those talents will be needed here on earth during the times ahead.Come to think of it, I think there was something written somewhere about critical bloggers being needed to "wake up" the 144,000. I can see your posts now "HA, you think JSO rounding you up because of your faith is bad? You weaklings! Back in my day JSO........investigated my name!" or "If you think times are bad now, you can just thank Mac Brunson...he did this...I don't know how yet...but I'm looking into it!" or "Ergun Caner lied, people died!" or "You weren't left behind because you didn't tithe people....you were left behind because FBC Jax spent money on CARPET!" or "Aww man, left behind, seriously, this reminds me of the time I got banned from FBC Jax. Did I ever tell you about that? Here let me tell you again..." or "I tried to tell you that the SBC had it wrong on women...you didn't listen....now look...Your in the TRIBULATION!" or "The antichrist lied and said he was a navy seal! can you believe that? Who besides SBC pastors would lie like that? Not to mention he was wearing cufflinks, pointing his finger!"
Wow the "ministry" of "criticism" through the "spiritual gift" of sarcasm is fun...I can see the appeal. Good luck...no matter what.

Waiting for the Rapture said...

I think Mr. Camping got his message from God confused, being as "old" as he is. Perhaps the Lord meant that tomorrow was the day 'HIS (CAMPING) WORLD WOULD END!"

Katie said...

Waiting for Rapture,

I think you are not too far off the mark. Many have expressed the opinion, that this last 'guaranteed prediction' will be Camping's last. The stress of what he has done, might well produce some nasty effects upon his physical body. I don't wish him ill, but he has done so much damage to people. Only a truly selfish, egomaniac could allow this to continue while people divorce each other over following Camping, or sell all their worldly goods and empty their bank accounts. I understand some people have euthanized their pets.

Anonymous said...

What he has accomplished is to convince those that already think Christians are odd people into believing that we are total nut jobs. Every news report and blogger that I have read that is commenting on this story has a very sarcastic overtone to it. And, honestly, it's understandable. If Camping is right, then it will be a very interesting day on Saturday. If he's not, I think it is fair to question everything Camping has taught, including salvation, morality, family, etc, etc. When you have a preacher that does what Camping has done, it tears down the faith. Maybe it needs tearing down.

Anonymous said...

turn or burn.

Sincerely,

Rob Bell

WishIhadknown said...

The only thing I know for certain is that Jesus is coming between Midnight and 1:00 AM.

Anonymous said...

All Dogs Go to Heaven. :)

Elisabeth said...

Man, when I read the title, I was scared! I didn't want this blog to end. But if Camping's right... ;-)

Anonymous said...

Man, when I read the title, I was scared! I didn't want this blog to end. But if Camping's right... ;-)

Camping is not correct in the sense total destruction will occur. Any person who has listened to Camper a little knows he looks at things in a spiritual way. So when you here thing like this you must look at the spiritual message of what he is trying to say, perhaps hidden in a secret way. Every one thinks he is of his rocker and rightfully so. But every one thought Jesus was of his rocker aw well. The SBC is a fine tool to look at the earthly aspect of the spiritual message. Camper is a fine tool for looking at the spiritual meaning of the spiritual message. Every one would agree the world is turning dark quick. Most do not care.

Anonymous said...

Greetings from post-rapture Australia. Things are relatively quiet at the moment and we're holding up ok.

Zombies numbers seem to be low, haven't seen any myself, but I haven't been outdoors yet either.

WishIhadknown said...

Sorry mate but you're a bit premature. We still have about 10 hours more to wait. The prophecy is for 6 PM EDT in the US. Even so come Lord Jesus.

Long Time FBC Jax Member said...

I agree, this world is getting very dark very quick. We're poised for a one-world currency, implanted computer chips in humans, and a lot of Christians believe the Anti - Christ is alive now.

Today is just as good as any for the Rapture to take place We've been "sitting on go " ever since Israel returned to their homeland after WWII. Are you ready to go? Even so, come Lord Jesus !!

Anonymous said...

> Sorry mate but you're a bit premature. We still have about 10 hours more to wait.

Nope, I checked. Even watched Camping saying so himself: 6pm local time, no matter where you are. Rapture will ripple around the world

Quote from an interview with Camping here http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/a_conversation_with_harold_cam.html "when we get to May 21 on the calendar in any city or country in the world, and the clock says about — this is based on other verses in the Bible — when the clock says about 6 p.m., there’s going to be this tremendous earthquake that’s going to make the last earthquake in Japan seem like nothing in comparison. And the whole world will be alerted that Judgment Day has begun. And then it will follow the sun around for 24 hours. As each area of the world gets to that point of 6 p.m. on May 21, then it will happen there, and until it happens, the rest of the world will be standing far off and witnessing the horrible thing that is happening."

Anonymous said...

above url appears to have been mangled. Should have been http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/a_conversation_with_harold_cam.html

Anonymous said...

Long Time FBC Jax Member, not sure what you mean about the anti-christ being alive now. As far as I can tell, when bible refers to anti-christ, it doesn't ever say it in reference to a single specific person. The term is used instead as a more general description, much the same as we would say anti-abortion or anti-war.

One currency? possibly, but it's a fair way off yet. Hopefully it's bitcoin :) As for computer chips in humans, so what? We've been doing that for years. What's that go to do with piratey thing anyway?

I'm not that sure the world is getting darker, just that our communications are getting better and better and we're starting to see, in real-time, the stuff that's been happening world wide since forever.

WishIhadknown said...

Ok didn't know that. Sorry you were left behind at least there's still hope for me. ;)
Oh well maybe next time.
Or maybe we just file this with the "88 reasons Christ is coming in '88."

Long Time FBC Jax Member said...

Anon 10:20 ,

As far as the AntiChrist is concerned, I think you might be referring to the "spirit of Antichrist" which I have heard preached, and you might be correct. There is definitely growing persecution against the Christian faith.

As for the computer chips in humans, I was making a reference to the Mark of the Beast. These chips would contain all your identification and your bank account info. Instead of swiping your credit/debit card to make a purchase, you would simply scan your chip, imbedded in your hand or forehead. No chip, no sale.

And I agree that modern communication has given us instant access to info from all over the globe. This added deluge of info might make it seem like there's more evil, when in reality we're simply more aware of it.

Anonymous said...

Christ came in '88? oh dang, now I've missed out twice :(

Anonymous said...

Long Time FBC Jax Member, at the risk of veering wildly off topic, those are some interesting things to think about

When I said we'd been implanting humans with computer chips for years, I was thinking of medical devices like pacemakers (which may not actually contain computer chips. don't know much about them). If we're talking about implanting everyone, then there's two major obstacles to overcome first:

1. The human body *really* doesn't like foreign objects, and puts up one fierce fight should you try and insert one. Have a look at the drugs/treatment required to try and stop a body rejecting something like an artificial heart etc. People have been trying to experiment with augmented senses for about two decades, but the biggest problem is their bodies rejecting the additions. For this to become commonplace, we'd need to find a method the body would accept

2. How fast does your computer go out of date? How quickly do things become incompatible? Now imagine having that inside of you. Shortly after your implant, new/faster/better ones would be made, and a few years on you'd find yours didn't work with some of the readers. fast forward 10 years, and you'd find almost nothing worked with your old (ancient!) implant.

In short, I'm very sure most governments, yours and mine included, would *love* a way to unambiguously identify and/or track each of us, but I don't think the answer is with computer implants. Not yes, anyway. There's probably other means though...

Anonymous said...

I agree, this world is getting very dark very quick. We're poised for a one-world currency, implanted computer chips in humans, and a lot of Christians believe the Anti - Christ is alive now.

Today is just as good as any for the Rapture to take place We've been "sitting on go " ever since Israel returned to their homeland after WWII. Are you ready to go? Even so, come Lord Jesus !!

May 21, 2011 9:16 AM

Oh Brother...here we go. More left behind nonsense.

So, what do you do with 1 John and the fact he talks about many "anti Christs" in the 1st Century?

it might help if you know what that word means....
but of course the Left Behind stuff is much more sensational and romanticism.

Katie said...

I can hardly wait to hear Harold Camping come up with yet another excuse for his disgraceful exegesis of scripture.

The 22nd of May has arrived to half of the world. Seems Harold got his math and allegorical reading of scripture wrong.

When will people ever learn to keep their eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith?

Anonymous said...

"I can hardly wait to hear Harold Camping come up with yet another excuse for his disgraceful exegesis of scripture."

Katie, He does not care. He got what he wanted: Everyone is talking about Harold Camping

Anonymous said...

I wonder how his followers are doing today? From what I understand most got rid of all their possessions, spent life savings and alienated friends and family.

Anonymous said...

I guess we wile have to cancel the pre-trib rapture of the Masonic and SBC POSTULATE.

Thy Peace said...

Alpha & Omega Ministries Apologetics Blog [James White] > An Open Letter to Harold Camping of Family Radio