It never ceases to amaze me how fundamentalist Christians can't see how their thin-skinned reaction to criticism wreaks of the same vindictiveness and hate that they criticise in Muslim extremists.
Sam Cook, sports writer for the Fort Myers News-Press wrote an article this week criticizing Tim Tebow for some of his Christian views. Also this week, USA Today religion writer Tom Krattenbaker wrote an article critical of Tebow and his dad, Bob Tebow. While I don't agree with either article, the point of my comments here is not what these guys wrote. Rather, its the reaction to their articles that is so telling of how fundamentalist evangelical Christians today bow up whenever criticism comes their way. Even Tebow's pastor, Mac Brunson of FBC Jacksonville, in one of his sermons used Tebow as an example of how Christians are persecuted in the media, referring to the Knoxville sports reporter who dared ask Tebow if he was a virgin. Tebow an example of Christian persecution? That's crazy. Tebow has received more favorable press in his college career than any other modern day Christian except perhaps Billy Graham. Tebow gets hundreds of favorable news stories in TV, radio, and print media - all well deserved in my opinion - but let a few people express contrary views about Tebow and the fundamental Christians will run around with their hair on fire ready to hang one lone critic.
Go read Cook's article. Then, browse the multiple pages of comments to his article, and you'll see what I'm talking about. Here's just a sampling of people attacking Cook, calling for people to cancel subscriptions and canceling advertising:
"...Did you happen to notice the lack of compassion Cook has demonstrated for the target (Tebow) he has chosen to assault."
"...my heart goes out to you and I just hope you will repent on your knees for attacking Christians"
"...I also cancelled my subscription. I am done. And the CSR I spoke to told me I was not the only one to cancel recently because of Sam Cook's article."
"...As I called the News Press to cancel my subscription and corporate advertising, I spoke to the editor. "
"Sam will one day give an account for his actions. The problem with America today is we have strayed from our roots. And people like Sam do not help. "
"While dancing on both sides of a 2 edged sword, Mr. Cook shows how ignorance is still bliss. "
"As I've said before, why should you expect anything less than leftist spewing from the news-press?"
"Sam Cook = Idiot. Look at the leadership that is out there?!!? Where do you get off, on throwing a person under the bus, that is doing his best to be a good role model. My son, could follow Tim's example any day, you however, I would only use your pitiful rantings as a journalist on the bottom of a bird cage."
And many more. What expressions of Christian love toward Cook. I'm sure Tebow is ashamed that those in the Gator nation, and his Christian brethren, are speaking like this over a little criticism coming his way.
Apparently the only unforgivable sin these days in the eyes of fundamentalist Christians is to criticize their religious leaders in a public forum. It will get you kicked out of the church, and Christians everywhere will heap burning coals on your head. Interesting - these people don't even excommunicate gays or molesters from their churches, but dare to criticize their pastor, or their legendary quarterback, and all the forces of hell, er, I mean Christianity, will come down on your head.
Come on Christians. If you won't follow your Bible in how to treat critics of your faith, then at least take your cues from Tebow - he is not concerned about criticism that comes his way. He lets it roll of his back and he keeps on truckin'. Why can't you?
Friday, October 16, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
The Watchdog Goes Idle for a While...
Readers - this will be my last post in a while. Events require that I take a break at least temporarily from blogging, probably through the month of October or longer, unless events during this period dictate otherwise.
Thank you to the contributors of this blog, those on both sides of the issues that have used this forum to discuss and debate important issues at FBC Jax.
In the meantime, until the next post, blessings to all.
Thank you to the contributors of this blog, those on both sides of the issues that have used this forum to discuss and debate important issues at FBC Jax.
In the meantime, until the next post, blessings to all.
Friday, October 2, 2009
FBC Jax Media Presents..."Trouble Clef"
Above is a fine ministry product put forth by the Media Pastor and media ministry at FBC Jax, a spoof about Jim Whitmire and the FBC Jax Choir. This is apparently the kind of thing the media department is working on at FBC Jax these days. On one hand, entertaining, but I guess I don't see the purpose.
But on the other hand, maybe this presents another marketing opportunity for increasing FBC Jax revenue. You have to admit this is a very well-done video product...couldn't the FBC Jax Media Pastor market these services to other churches? 99.9% of the churches don't have Media Pastors and production equipment like FBC Jax does, so why not make these services available to other churches - produce spoofs for them, for a market-based fee, of course? Send our crews out for a fee to produce videos of other pastor's Holy Land trips like they do for Brunson...produce spoofs of other church's trespass warning deliveries, deacon's resolutions, etc. The options are endless.
By the way, is the video crew going on the trip down the Danube next spring to video tape Brunson preaching on the deck of the "River Beatrice" during the "Danube River Trip with Mac and Debbie Brunson", as they did on the last "Holy Land Trip with the Brunson Family and Charlies Ryrie"? Ain't life grand?
But on the other hand, maybe this presents another marketing opportunity for increasing FBC Jax revenue. You have to admit this is a very well-done video product...couldn't the FBC Jax Media Pastor market these services to other churches? 99.9% of the churches don't have Media Pastors and production equipment like FBC Jax does, so why not make these services available to other churches - produce spoofs for them, for a market-based fee, of course? Send our crews out for a fee to produce videos of other pastor's Holy Land trips like they do for Brunson...produce spoofs of other church's trespass warning deliveries, deacon's resolutions, etc. The options are endless.
By the way, is the video crew going on the trip down the Danube next spring to video tape Brunson preaching on the deck of the "River Beatrice" during the "Danube River Trip with Mac and Debbie Brunson", as they did on the last "Holy Land Trip with the Brunson Family and Charlies Ryrie"? Ain't life grand?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Final Thoughts on the Marketing of the FBC Jax 2010 Pastor's Conference
As I wrap up my look at the 2010 FBC Jax Pastor's Conference promotional disgrace (see my two previous posts here and here), I want to contrast the FBC Jax method of attracting and charging vendors and advertisors and "sponsors" to their conference, with how the Southern Baptist Convention charges vendors at their annual convention.
I wanted to first address the anons who posted in the last few days that there is nothing inherently wrong with FBC Jax charging for "sponsorships", and selling for thousands of dollars the rights to display organizational names on image screens, or putting a price tag on mentioning the names of ministries from the pulpit. Their logic is because that is standard fare for other "conferences" and therefore not to be criticized when done by a church.
I would draw a huge contrast between a Christian event held in a church sanctuary, like FBC Jax, and one that is held in a public, rented venue such as a convention center or even municipal arena. The points of difference:
- a municipal venue will costs tens of thousands of dollars to rent, whereas there is no rental fee whatsoever for the use of a church santuary that has been paid for cash by the gifts of the church members. If a convention or Christian event is held in a public venue, it may make perfect sense for the costs of the facility rental to be shared by the ministries using the rented facilities (this is what the SBC does as I will show below).
- There are obvious operational expenses that FBC Jax must bear in hosting the Pastor's Conference: security, housekeeping, utilities, etc. These costs have been covered by the church or by the registration fees or special offerings from attendees in years past. But there is no extra cost in providing square footage for vendors, the space is in the foyer area already. There is no extra cost in allowing a PowerPoint slide for a Christian organization to be displayed on an image screen, or in having a minister mention the name of a worthwhile ministry through the sound system - these systems are not rented - they are in place for the sole purpose of the gospel, not to be used as a means to charge Christian ministries to raise revenue. Yet market-based prices, nickel-nose prices are charged to ministries for those privileges.
Why should these ministries bail out the FBC Jax bunch who is managing the conference? Attendance is WAY down over years past - so obviously there is a problem with the product being offered, or the pricing is out of whack...let them figure out the proper pricing structure and conference attributes to raise the required revenue - without the embarrasing selling of advertising in the church.
Another argument for selling advertising at the conference is that helps keep the registration costs low. Its not apparent that the registration fees for the FBC Jax conference are significantly lower than for other similar conferences. The cost now for a husband and wife to sign up and attend the 2010 Pastor's Conference is $299. Compare this to the Shepherd's Conference held by John McArthur, which charges $300. I won't go into comparing the goodies and meals given at each conference that or may not be included in the respective pricing, but my point is: FBC Jax is charging comparable fees to other conferences. And by the way, if all the promotional packages are sold, its adds up to just about $100,000. Assuming they sell 20 vendor booth spaces at $750 a pop, that is an addtional $15,000.
These marketing plans also serve to feed the "good ole boy" network that exists in the SBC. The leaders of some of the organizations that will pay these fees are also speakers at the conference and will be paid handsome speaking fees by FBC Jax! And who can forget the embarrassing moment in 2007, right in front of David Jeremiah who was about to preach, when Mac Brunson brought his son, Trey, up to the platform and congratulated him for "raising over $100,000" to help defray the expenses of the conference, and declared that this was more than twice Trey's salary - I'm not kidding, he actually said that. As I have said on this blog before, although Mac didn't explain HOW Trey raised this money, Mac was likely giving Trey credit for monies raised by Conexus and The A-Group through these very same promotions that we see being pushed in 2010. Poor David Jeremiah, who was probably a little embarrassed having to follow that raw display of arrogance and nepotism, declared something along the lines (I'm paraphrasing): "Gee, if the money raised is tied to his salary, let's give that boy a raise!"
At least one poster yesterday gave some options: cancel the P.C., raise the registration fees, or find other "creative" ways to "finance it. Well, the registration fees have risen in the past five years, and these promotional gimmicks could certainly be called "creative". But I can tell you, Homer Lindsay would sooner cancel the Pastor's Conference than allow his church to be selling the rights to display ads in the Main Auditorium, labels on bottled water, and logos on bags. Homer would be embarassed by it all. Homer believed that the church should pay for its ministries - including the Pastor's Conference; and it was a ministry to pastors - to let them hear solid preaching that they were not getting at that time at the Pastor's Conference of the SBC Annual Meeting - and it was a time for them to see just what was going on at FBC Jax.
And lastly, I want to commend the SBC for how they deal with vendors at their Annual Meeting each year. Since this meeting is held at municipal stadiums or convention centers which must be rented, the SBC has a policy on how vendors are charged for the space. You can read their entire policy here, but here are the excerpts dealing with vendors:
"Other groups [besides those directly affiliated with the SBC] may obtain space if they are sponsored by an SBC entity or Woman’s Missionary Union, or if that SBC entity has Convention responsibility for the area of work represented by the group (i.e., Conference of Southern Baptist Evangelists sponsored by the North American Mission Board)."
.......
"1. The exhibits are to operate on a cost-recovery basis. Exhibitors will be billed by the Executive Committee on a cost-per-square-foot basis. The cost per square foot should be sufficient to recover the cost of the rental of the exhibit hall, security services, general decorating services (i.e., basic drapes and signs), and janitorial services. All exhibitors will pay the same rate per square foot of exhibit space."
So that is how the SBC operates...they divide the total costs of providing the space, by the square footage and charge all vendors the same per square foot fee. No gimmicks. No selling of bottled water ads or logos on canvas bags. Definitely no hiring of promotions firms to see how to use the assembly of pastors and lay people to raise revenue.
Oh, and one other minor detail that allows the SBC to operate their convention like this: they aren't paying huge speaking fees to the people on the platform.
FBC Jax, if you want to follow the anon's advice and do something REALLY creative: try cutting the speaking fees you are paying by 95%, and see who still will come to speak. Sure, pay their travel and their lodging and meals (and a free ticket to the conference!), but try paying them just a $250 dollar stipend. Try reserving hotel space at the Holiday Inn instead of the Omni. Try trimming (eliminating) the consulting fees paid to church marketers and promotions firms. There are ways to be creative, but they would require the big name speakers to pocket less money, and the consultants would have to find their own revenue.
As I said yesterday, I truly hope no Christian ministries will give in and puchase these promotional packages. I understand they will have to fork over the $750 for the display table - there is nothing they can do about that. But to pay for bottled water, canvas bag logs, cheesy promotional pen ads, and "banners at the snack areas" and displays on the TVs and image screens...I hope they save their ministry money for other more worthwhile investments.
I wanted to first address the anons who posted in the last few days that there is nothing inherently wrong with FBC Jax charging for "sponsorships", and selling for thousands of dollars the rights to display organizational names on image screens, or putting a price tag on mentioning the names of ministries from the pulpit. Their logic is because that is standard fare for other "conferences" and therefore not to be criticized when done by a church.
I would draw a huge contrast between a Christian event held in a church sanctuary, like FBC Jax, and one that is held in a public, rented venue such as a convention center or even municipal arena. The points of difference:
- a municipal venue will costs tens of thousands of dollars to rent, whereas there is no rental fee whatsoever for the use of a church santuary that has been paid for cash by the gifts of the church members. If a convention or Christian event is held in a public venue, it may make perfect sense for the costs of the facility rental to be shared by the ministries using the rented facilities (this is what the SBC does as I will show below).
- There are obvious operational expenses that FBC Jax must bear in hosting the Pastor's Conference: security, housekeeping, utilities, etc. These costs have been covered by the church or by the registration fees or special offerings from attendees in years past. But there is no extra cost in providing square footage for vendors, the space is in the foyer area already. There is no extra cost in allowing a PowerPoint slide for a Christian organization to be displayed on an image screen, or in having a minister mention the name of a worthwhile ministry through the sound system - these systems are not rented - they are in place for the sole purpose of the gospel, not to be used as a means to charge Christian ministries to raise revenue. Yet market-based prices, nickel-nose prices are charged to ministries for those privileges.
Why should these ministries bail out the FBC Jax bunch who is managing the conference? Attendance is WAY down over years past - so obviously there is a problem with the product being offered, or the pricing is out of whack...let them figure out the proper pricing structure and conference attributes to raise the required revenue - without the embarrasing selling of advertising in the church.
Another argument for selling advertising at the conference is that helps keep the registration costs low. Its not apparent that the registration fees for the FBC Jax conference are significantly lower than for other similar conferences. The cost now for a husband and wife to sign up and attend the 2010 Pastor's Conference is $299. Compare this to the Shepherd's Conference held by John McArthur, which charges $300. I won't go into comparing the goodies and meals given at each conference that or may not be included in the respective pricing, but my point is: FBC Jax is charging comparable fees to other conferences. And by the way, if all the promotional packages are sold, its adds up to just about $100,000. Assuming they sell 20 vendor booth spaces at $750 a pop, that is an addtional $15,000.
These marketing plans also serve to feed the "good ole boy" network that exists in the SBC. The leaders of some of the organizations that will pay these fees are also speakers at the conference and will be paid handsome speaking fees by FBC Jax! And who can forget the embarrassing moment in 2007, right in front of David Jeremiah who was about to preach, when Mac Brunson brought his son, Trey, up to the platform and congratulated him for "raising over $100,000" to help defray the expenses of the conference, and declared that this was more than twice Trey's salary - I'm not kidding, he actually said that. As I have said on this blog before, although Mac didn't explain HOW Trey raised this money, Mac was likely giving Trey credit for monies raised by Conexus and The A-Group through these very same promotions that we see being pushed in 2010. Poor David Jeremiah, who was probably a little embarrassed having to follow that raw display of arrogance and nepotism, declared something along the lines (I'm paraphrasing): "Gee, if the money raised is tied to his salary, let's give that boy a raise!"
At least one poster yesterday gave some options: cancel the P.C., raise the registration fees, or find other "creative" ways to "finance it. Well, the registration fees have risen in the past five years, and these promotional gimmicks could certainly be called "creative". But I can tell you, Homer Lindsay would sooner cancel the Pastor's Conference than allow his church to be selling the rights to display ads in the Main Auditorium, labels on bottled water, and logos on bags. Homer would be embarassed by it all. Homer believed that the church should pay for its ministries - including the Pastor's Conference; and it was a ministry to pastors - to let them hear solid preaching that they were not getting at that time at the Pastor's Conference of the SBC Annual Meeting - and it was a time for them to see just what was going on at FBC Jax.
And lastly, I want to commend the SBC for how they deal with vendors at their Annual Meeting each year. Since this meeting is held at municipal stadiums or convention centers which must be rented, the SBC has a policy on how vendors are charged for the space. You can read their entire policy here, but here are the excerpts dealing with vendors:
"Other groups [besides those directly affiliated with the SBC] may obtain space if they are sponsored by an SBC entity or Woman’s Missionary Union, or if that SBC entity has Convention responsibility for the area of work represented by the group (i.e., Conference of Southern Baptist Evangelists sponsored by the North American Mission Board)."
.......
"1. The exhibits are to operate on a cost-recovery basis. Exhibitors will be billed by the Executive Committee on a cost-per-square-foot basis. The cost per square foot should be sufficient to recover the cost of the rental of the exhibit hall, security services, general decorating services (i.e., basic drapes and signs), and janitorial services. All exhibitors will pay the same rate per square foot of exhibit space."
So that is how the SBC operates...they divide the total costs of providing the space, by the square footage and charge all vendors the same per square foot fee. No gimmicks. No selling of bottled water ads or logos on canvas bags. Definitely no hiring of promotions firms to see how to use the assembly of pastors and lay people to raise revenue.
Oh, and one other minor detail that allows the SBC to operate their convention like this: they aren't paying huge speaking fees to the people on the platform.
FBC Jax, if you want to follow the anon's advice and do something REALLY creative: try cutting the speaking fees you are paying by 95%, and see who still will come to speak. Sure, pay their travel and their lodging and meals (and a free ticket to the conference!), but try paying them just a $250 dollar stipend. Try reserving hotel space at the Holiday Inn instead of the Omni. Try trimming (eliminating) the consulting fees paid to church marketers and promotions firms. There are ways to be creative, but they would require the big name speakers to pocket less money, and the consultants would have to find their own revenue.
As I said yesterday, I truly hope no Christian ministries will give in and puchase these promotional packages. I understand they will have to fork over the $750 for the display table - there is nothing they can do about that. But to pay for bottled water, canvas bag logs, cheesy promotional pen ads, and "banners at the snack areas" and displays on the TVs and image screens...I hope they save their ministry money for other more worthwhile investments.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Come on Down! You're the Next Contestant on....THE FBC JAX "PRICE IS RIGHT!!"
Readers - welcome to a special episode of "The Price is Right"!!! For this episode, Bob Barker has come out of retirement, back to host this special featuring some incredible marketing deals sold EXCLUSIVELY by the marketing and promotions team at FBC Jax, Inc. for their 2010 Pastor's Conference. Never before has a mega church sold advertising in the halls of its church to the highest bidder - what a special day!! Join us, as the show begins!Bob Barker: "Johnny Donovan, please tell us who our next three contestants are, please!!!"
Johnny Donovan: "Sure thing....well, Bob, the following are our contestants for the next FBC Jax Price is Right Showcase:
Peter Paigerson, President of the Northeastern Seminary.....COME ON DOWN!!!!
Al Incisor, President of Deep Southern Seminary....COME ON DOWN!!!!
Thim Clouder, President of the Give Life Publishing company...COME ON DOWN!!! "
[applause as contests run down to the front]
Bob Barker: "Hello gentlemen! Thank you for joining us, here are the next three items up for bid on the FBC Jax, Inc. Price is Right Showcase....Johnny, tell these men what they can buy today!!!"
Johnny D: "Well, Bob, the first item up for bid today on the FBC Jax, Inc. showcase is:
"Advertising your Christian agency on all the Bottled Water given to attendees at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. 2010 Pastor's Conference!!!! "
[Gasps, then Applause!!!]
Johnny D (continues): "Yes, gentlemen, the bidding will start at $1000 - you can take the marketing of your Christian organization to new heights by getting your name out on all bottles of water at the conference. What better way to say "We love Jesus and Jesus
LOVES our organization!" than by giving a cup of cold water...but not in Jesus name but IN YOUR AGENCY'S NAME...to those thirsty pastor's and pastor's wives at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference. Worried your donors will be flabbergasted at paying large advertising fees to a church? Not a problem, our church marketing experts have researched this, and are convinced your donors will be so proud you have spent their donations on such a worthy cause...as the FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference and quenching the thirst of the those pastors sweating in the Florida sunshine!! "
Johnny D (continues): "And gentlemen, don't forget....wasn't it Jesus who said whoever gives a cup of cold water is truly blessed? How much bigger will the blessings be when your agency gives a big gulp of H2O to the portly pastors and their heavy helpmates? You can put your faith into action by giving out not just a measley 4 oz. cup of cold water in a breakable cup like Jesus did, but a whole 16 ounces in one beautiful, clear, non-breakable (and recyclable!) plastic bottle! "
Johnny D (continues): "As a bonus, you will get the assistance of the FBC Jax sales and church marketing team to help you design your logo for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!".....And you can get this thirst-quenching indulgence, Gentlemen, if the PRICE IS RIGHT!! "
[APPLAUSE]
Bob Barker: "Wow, thank you, Johnny. Gentlemen, your bids please: "
Al Incisor: "I'll say a thousand dollars, Bob....fifteen hundred if I can keep my speaking slot for 2011 Pastor's Conference."
Peter Paigerson: "I'll bid a thousand dollars, Bob, if I can get the "silver promotions package" for my agency at $5000 instead of $7000, and the water will be handed out at all meals in the dining room as my agency's promotional video is displayed on the TVs."
Thim Clouder: "Well, I'll go for $1500, Bob, if I can get my agency's name on the water, AND if Brother Mac will at least 4 times mention my organization from the pulpit and display one of of our ads on the giant hi-def image screens in the Main Auditorium Monday and Tuesday night."
Bob Barker: "Thank you gentlemen! The next item up for bid....Johnny Donovan, please tell us!"
Johnny D: "Well, Bob, the next item up for bid is:
"The privilege of having your organization's name imprinted on on all pens handed out at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference!"
[LAUGHTER, then APPLAUSE]
Johnny D (continues): "Yes, you can have your Christian agency's name imprinted on these lovely, hand-crafted pens that will be given to each paying pastor and paying pastor's wife during the conference in their conference bag.
"Advertising your Christian agency on all the Bottled Water given to attendees at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. 2010 Pastor's Conference!!!! "
[Gasps, then Applause!!!]
Johnny D (continues): "Yes, gentlemen, the bidding will start at $1000 - you can take the marketing of your Christian organization to new heights by getting your name out on all bottles of water at the conference. What better way to say "We love Jesus and Jesus
LOVES our organization!" than by giving a cup of cold water...but not in Jesus name but IN YOUR AGENCY'S NAME...to those thirsty pastor's and pastor's wives at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference. Worried your donors will be flabbergasted at paying large advertising fees to a church? Not a problem, our church marketing experts have researched this, and are convinced your donors will be so proud you have spent their donations on such a worthy cause...as the FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference and quenching the thirst of the those pastors sweating in the Florida sunshine!! "Johnny D (continues): "And gentlemen, don't forget....wasn't it Jesus who said whoever gives a cup of cold water is truly blessed? How much bigger will the blessings be when your agency gives a big gulp of H2O to the portly pastors and their heavy helpmates? You can put your faith into action by giving out not just a measley 4 oz. cup of cold water in a breakable cup like Jesus did, but a whole 16 ounces in one beautiful, clear, non-breakable (and recyclable!) plastic bottle! "
Johnny D (continues): "As a bonus, you will get the assistance of the FBC Jax sales and church marketing team to help you design your logo for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!".....And you can get this thirst-quenching indulgence, Gentlemen, if the PRICE IS RIGHT!! "
[APPLAUSE]
Bob Barker: "Wow, thank you, Johnny. Gentlemen, your bids please: "
Al Incisor: "I'll say a thousand dollars, Bob....fifteen hundred if I can keep my speaking slot for 2011 Pastor's Conference."
Peter Paigerson: "I'll bid a thousand dollars, Bob, if I can get the "silver promotions package" for my agency at $5000 instead of $7000, and the water will be handed out at all meals in the dining room as my agency's promotional video is displayed on the TVs."
Thim Clouder: "Well, I'll go for $1500, Bob, if I can get my agency's name on the water, AND if Brother Mac will at least 4 times mention my organization from the pulpit and display one of of our ads on the giant hi-def image screens in the Main Auditorium Monday and Tuesday night."
Bob Barker: "Thank you gentlemen! The next item up for bid....Johnny Donovan, please tell us!"
Johnny D: "Well, Bob, the next item up for bid is:
"The privilege of having your organization's name imprinted on on all pens handed out at the 2010 FBC Jax, Inc. Pastor's Conference!"
[LAUGHTER, then APPLAUSE]
Johnny D (continues): "Yes, you can have your Christian agency's name imprinted on these lovely, hand-crafted pens that will be given to each paying pastor and paying pastor's wife during the conference in their conference bag.
"These beautiful pens will enhance the experience of each attendee, as they write the sermon notes given by the well-paid preachers who speak at the conference. These p
ens are made of the highest quality plastic polymers - and what better way to say "we love the children of China and the pastors at PC 2010" than to purchase these beautiful Chinese-imported pens with your agency's logo. "From the hand of the Master to the hand of the sinner", these pens communicate that you choose your adveristing options carefully. Imagine when that convert who accepts Jesus at PC 2010 fills out the card on the front pew, and they write their name in glory on that card using the pen with YOUR agency's name on it....your organization had a "hand" in writing that person's name in the book of life!!"
ens are made of the highest quality plastic polymers - and what better way to say "we love the children of China and the pastors at PC 2010" than to purchase these beautiful Chinese-imported pens with your agency's logo. "From the hand of the Master to the hand of the sinner", these pens communicate that you choose your adveristing options carefully. Imagine when that convert who accepts Jesus at PC 2010 fills out the card on the front pew, and they write their name in glory on that card using the pen with YOUR agency's name on it....your organization had a "hand" in writing that person's name in the book of life!!"Johnny D (continues): "The apostle John said he WROTE his epistle so people can know they have eternal life...and your agency spending money to provide these WRITING utensils to help pastors WRITE their notes and sermons....shows you CARE about lost souls...eternally!! And this privilege can be yours....IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!"
Johnny D (continues): "Bob, back to you!"
Bob: "Thanks, Johnny! Well, gentlemen, this is a tough one, how will you put a price on THIS wonderful opportunity? We'll start with you, Al:"
Al Incisor: "I'll pass, Bob. Too cheesy. Besides, we'll be
giving our own pens out at our display booth that we paid $750 for. Times are tough, and we have to cut back some where!"
Peter Paigerson: "I'll go for $750 bucks, Bob...but need an upgrade to the suite at the Omni during my stay...and a dinner at the Chart House with Maurilio during Jerry Vines' sermon this year...[Peter chuckles]."
Thim Clouder: "I'll wager $1000 of my agency's money for this one, Bob, if Maurilio can promise that the pens will be used by each of the pastor's in the foyer who are signing their books, and by Brother Mac as he signs the seminary students' bibles during his office suite tour. And I'll sign up for bottled water next year if Trey will put me in a prime-time PC 2011 speaking slot."
Peter Paigerson: "Hey, Thim, still selling copies of that devilish book 'The Shack' in your stores? Heh, heh..."
Bob Barker: "OK, thank you, Gentlemen....Johnny...what is our last item up for bid?"
Johnny D: Well, Bob, this last item is sure to "bag" the attention of the PC 2010 attendees:
"The privilege of having your agency logo imprinted on the canvas bag containing all conference materials."
Johnny D: Well, Bob, this last item is sure to "bag" the attention of the PC 2010 attendees:
"The privilege of having your agency logo imprinted on the canvas bag containing all conference materials."
[Amens, then Applause]
Johnny D (continues): "Attendees will receive your canvas bag (with your logo) at check-in filled
with all the conference materials. Attendees usually carry these bags around the entire conference, keeping your name before everyone the entire time. After the conference, your bag is a reminder that goes home with them. " [direct quote from PC2010 website]. You all know how tiring it can be for these pastors to lug around the books they've purchased from the conference speakers and the CD's purchased from the singers that their church will be paying for when they expense it all...and your bag will be a reminder to these pastors of your organization's generosity in helping them maintain their strength for the trip home and next Sunday's sermon.Johnny D (continues): This super sack of blessings can be yours, gentlemen....IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT!
Bob: Thanks Johnny! Gentlemen, your bids please! Bids must start at $2000.
Peter Paigerson: Well, Bob, I will go for the full $2000, if we can bring in Jim "Jesus" Caviezel in like you did in 2007, and have him endorse my seminary as the most favored one in the convention...and he must do it in his Jesus outfit, of course! [Peter chuckles].
Al Incisor: I'll go for $2000, Bob, if I can get an extra power strip and two badges for our display table.
Thim Clouder: "I like the Jim "Jesus" Caviezel idea - I'll go for $3000 for the bag, along with a Jim "Jesus" Caviezel endorsement of our new product line in the Sunday morning conference service, and a banner display in the 'Snack Area'. "
Bob: "Thank you gentlemen for your bids. And the winners are.....well.....we will have to have our promotions firm Conexus get with each of you later to put the finishing touches on the bids and negotiate the "winners". Johnny, back to you!"
Johnny D: Thanks, Bob, and thanks to our contestants for this special edition of "The Price is Right! We'll see everyone next year!!!"
Bob: Thanks Johnny! Gentlemen, your bids please! Bids must start at $2000.
Peter Paigerson: Well, Bob, I will go for the full $2000, if we can bring in Jim "Jesus" Caviezel in like you did in 2007, and have him endorse my seminary as the most favored one in the convention...and he must do it in his Jesus outfit, of course! [Peter chuckles].
Al Incisor: I'll go for $2000, Bob, if I can get an extra power strip and two badges for our display table.
Thim Clouder: "I like the Jim "Jesus" Caviezel idea - I'll go for $3000 for the bag, along with a Jim "Jesus" Caviezel endorsement of our new product line in the Sunday morning conference service, and a banner display in the 'Snack Area'. "
Bob: "Thank you gentlemen for your bids. And the winners are.....well.....we will have to have our promotions firm Conexus get with each of you later to put the finishing touches on the bids and negotiate the "winners". Johnny, back to you!"
Johnny D: Thanks, Bob, and thanks to our contestants for this special edition of "The Price is Right! We'll see everyone next year!!!"
**********
"Jesus entered the temple area. He began chasing out all those who were buying and selling there. He turned over the tables of the people who were exchanging money. He also turned over the benches of those who were selling doves. He said to them, "It is written that the Lord said, 'My house will be called a house where people can pray.' But you are making it a 'den for robbers.'" (Mat 21:12-13)
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