Sources say next week Willie Mehmet Watchdog, the first ex-Catholic and ex-Mafia blogger, will be announcing his presidency for the Southern Baptist Convention. With the lack of clear direction in the SBC and recent scandals from resume enhancing to jet leasing, the time is right for Willie Mehmet to announce his quest for the SBC presidency.
Mehmet will announce the Great Conservative Resurrgence Resurrgence (GCRR), to lead the SBC into a resurrgence of the CR platform and strict enforcement of the conservative theology and practice throughout the SBC.
"We need to quit pussy-footing around with our conservative ideals", says Mehmet Watchdog. "Our convention is conservative, and we need to enforce our conservative views on all those that bear the name 'Southern Baptist'. We need money, and its in the pockets and portfolios of our stingy members who are not tithing. For the good of our convention and our country, we MUST strengthen our commitment to the CR."
Willie Mehmet, who was "rrrraised in Eurrrope", and who recently shared his testimony of converting from a strict-Catholic upbringing and his Mafia training in which he was "raised to do that which was done on Godfather I, II, III and some of what was on Goodfellas", will announce this week his candidacy, and his GCRR platform. In the face of some recent criticism over his Catholic and Mafia upbringing, Mehmet says that "I indeed was raised in Eurrrope as a devout Catholic and Mafia member...much of what I learned about Americans I learned from watching episodes of '24' and 'American Idol' back in the 1980's, when the censors in Italy and Beirut and other majority-Italian countries allowed those programs."
Unlike most SBC presidential candidates, Mehmet (whose wife calls him "Dutch", but prounounces it "Dooo-utch" and whose father-in-law is from Kitty Kill, South Carolina, and who drives a pick-up truck and eats Krispy Kreme) will appoint a special team of individuals to implement the GCRR, which reportedly will include some of the more popular CR celebrities and their blogging supporters and defenders.
Stay tuned for details of Mehmet Watchdog's GCRR team appointments!