2 Samuel 16:9,11 - "Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head...let him alone, and let him curse; for the Lord hath bidden him."

Matthew 7:15 - “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.

Matthew 24:11 - “…and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people.”

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Lifeway Introduces New Bible Translation, the RSTB: The Revised Storehouse Tithing Bible

Today Lifeway is introducing a new bible translation to help preachers and churchmen teach the important first-fruits storehouse tithing doctrine to their church members.

The translation is called the "Revised Storehouse Tithing Bible", or RSTB for short.

"We have sought input from some of the best fundraising pastors in modern evangelicalism to provide this valuable resource to pastors as they teach the sheep the absolute necessity of forking over a minimum of 10% to their local church", said a Lifeway spokesman.

Contributors to the RSTB include Steve Gaines, Ed Young, Frank Page, and also John Hagee. Robert Morris, best-selling author of The Blessed Life and storehouse tithing teacher, was the editor of the project.

"Tapestry of Green" on Every Page of the Bible

Lifeway says the RSTB will help church members see that tithing really is a common theme found throughout the Bible.

"Just as the tapestry of red, Christ's redemption, is found throughout scripture pointing us to Jesus Christ, so on every page of the Bible we find the first-fruits storehouse tithing principle, the blessed 'tapestry of green', that points Christians to securing God's blessings and avoiding God's curses through giving the first 10% of our income", said one of the RSTB editors.

The RSTB has several unique features: it is color coded - verses having to do with storehouse tithing are highlighted in bright money-green. Also, unique tithing icons are used throughout, such as those highlighted verses that refer to Christians getting blessings for their tithe are marked in the margin with "$" symbols, while those that speak of God's curses for not tithing are marked with either an icon of a purse with holes in it or a devil's pitchfork.

To help Christians fully understand how important it is to tithe to avoid the wrath of God, the RSTB includes modern-day translations of verses dealing with first-fruits tithing principles that have been uncovered in scripture by the today's evangelical tithing experts.

For instance, when Jesus preached in the Sermon on the Mount:

"Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matt 6:33, KJV)

has been translated with the help of Perry Noble to read:

"Tithe ye first to your storehouse, and money, clothes, and food shall be delivered unto you." (Matt 6:33, RSTB)

Another great example of interpreting Jesus' words in the context of modern day storehouse tithing doctrines, is Matthew 23:23:

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former." (Matt 23:23, NIV)

which has been shortened through translation, with the help of Frank Page, to read:

"Woe to you, you non-tithing Christians, you hypocrites! I've paid for your sins and delivered you from hell, now PONY UP!!!" (Matt 23:23, RSTB)

Steve Gaines has been on the forefront of the storehouse tithing interpretation in the New Testament, and helped correctly interpret the Acts 5 account of Ananias and Sapphira. Some of the translated verses include:

"But a certain man, named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession and did not tithe on it....and Peter said 'Why hast thou conceived this thing in your heart? You have not lived in a stolen house and driven a stolen car belonging to men, but thou hast sent thou offspring to school with the tithe belonging to God.'....and Ananias, hearing these words, and Sapphira with her stolen jewelry, fell down and gave up the ghost and the tithe." (Acts 5:1-5, RSTB)

Old Testament verses have been interpreted to aid Christians in seeing that the modern day church is the temple, and that their pastors are the modern day equivalent to the Old Testament priests.

For instance:

"A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees, belongs to the LORD; it is holy to the LORD." (Lev 27:30, NIV)

is translated as:

"A tithe of everything in your paycheck, whether it be your salary from work, or the hourly pay at your second job, belongs to the church, it is holy to the church." (Lev 27:30, RSTB)

Lifeway acknowledges that the RSTB will have its critics, but that these are mostly recalcitrant bloggers who don't tithe anyways.

One such critic, FBC Jax Watchdog, says he offered the RSTB translation team a helpful modern day translation of Malachi 3, saying that it is the most misused verse in the bible on storehouse tithing.

"They weren't too interested in receiving a modern-day translation of Malachi 3 that reflects how God would apply it today to the church", said the Watchdog. "You see, what the storehouse tithing preachers don't want you to know is that the book of Malachi was directed at priests of Israel and the sons of Levi. So in Malachi 3 God is upset that the priests, not the people, are misusing the tithe and thus robbing God."

The editors instead went with the Perry Noble translation of Malachi 3:10:

"Fork ye over all the tithes to the church, that there may be large budgets in mine house, and prove Pastor now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the bank account of heaven, and pour you out money to pay your bills, so much that there shall not be room enough to store it and thus you'll have to give even more to the church." (Mal 3:10, RSTB)


man said...

As I saw this in Google Reader right after getting up, I was like, "what?"

Then I looked at my calendar....


Anonymous said...

Lol this should be in every church bookstore (church bookstores-the fact that there are such things gives people a big clue :you're at a mall bring money)

Anonymous said...

Laugh at the tithe now but you won't be laughing standing in front of a Holy God.

God came up with this idea...take it up with Him.

Your greed and pride are frightening, I am really fearful for you and for your soul.

Repent while there is time.

God's Word is not a joke.

The last laugh will be on you.

FBC Jax Watchdog said...

I just repented. Thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

It is the preachers that preach this crap that need to repent before a Holy God. They are first twisting scripture to get God's people to tithe to THEM, then they are robbing God and using the tithes and offerings brought by the people to pay their own salaries, benefits, car allowances, retirement, etc. and then with what is left over, they use to build buildings and have church programs and live like kings. They are robbing God. Not all of the people that are giving faithfully.

Johnny D. said...

Haha, Tom! Thank goodness it's April 1st. Wow, I have to admit I was fooled for a bit until I got to the verses. :-)

Anonymous said...

Watchdog, whats the story behind Mac Brunson apologizing to you in front of the church this morning. I know he didn't do it out of the goodness of his heart because he sure changed the subject matter awful fast.

Anonymous said...

I assume a settlement has been agreed to. Are you at liberty to speak on the subject ?

Ian said...

Anon 8:04

Obviously you don't own a calendar. lulz.

Anonymous said...

Happy April Fool’s Day! This can't be topped, thank you for the laugh.
You had better look out though, you are giving them ideas. They will be selling signed copies of this bible at a conference coming near you maybe in the church bookstore even sooner.
2nd Timothy 3:2
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
1st Timothy 6:10
For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
These guys sure love their money! I mean my money. I mean God's money. It is all God's.
How many of the seven deadly sins are they practicing and teaching?
I am afraid of them and for them.

Anonymous said...

Dawg! Dawg! Dawg! You got me Dawg! Man I was getting righteously indignant for a minute. My blood pressure went up as I read, and then I realized what today's date was. All I can say is Dawg! Dawg! Dawg! You got me Dawg!
Grace & Peace- Elder gab

Karen said...

I'd like to say this is incredibly creative (I will!), but would never happen (I'm not so sure). We just might look back in a few years with wonder and shock when it actually occurs.

A brilliant way to celebrate the first day of April, Watchdog.

KarenM in NC

FBC Jax Watchdog said...

Thanks, Karen. This is my third consecutive April Fool's spoof. I still like my first one, April 1, 2010, which poked fun mostly at Ergun Caner.

As I said recently on the blog, it is getting nearly impossible to put up a spoof, as evangelicalism is getting crazier and crazier.

Case in point is my April 1, 2011 April Fool's spoof, which nearly came to reality in the post a few weeks ago on the pastor fund-raising conference that will feature Perry Noble.

Rush Limbaugh calls it "being on the cutting edge of societal evolution" when your spoofs actually become reality.

Anonymous said...

Watchdog. This is why the Oracles of God were given to the Jew. The Jews always wrote what God told them to write down and not just some man who would make merchadise off of the Gospel.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Laugh at the tithe now but you won't be laughing standing in front of a Holy God".

If there is a god and he made fools like Steve Gaines and a Day to laugh at him, he/she must have a sense of humor, so you shouldn't worry about that.

G. Casey said...

Watchdog, it took Dr. Russell Kelly to help me understand that it was not even just a good "rule of thumb" in pay check tithing. James Quiggle was another. Keep pressing the issue indeed and if you can promote a debate with Kelly. They keep and keep denying him the ability to debate this issue. There is no way pay check tithing can apply from the Old Testament in the substitute for food. I suggest give only a 2 to 2.5% (firstfruits) only out of ones profits only to the ministers as the Didiache suggest and then let them follow the dictates of Paul in the letter to the Thessalonians if they should need more. By all give more but do so directly to the congregants, food ministries, other staples, and local community.

G. Casey said...

Storehouse version, huh, did they suggest churches cut their bank account too in this version, Watchdog. Cause 90% will be going somewhere else. See there is another problem with this doctrine.

G. Casey said...

April 1st....got it.

Anonymous said...

My thoughts: YES, the FOOL finally apologized on the FOOL'S DAY.

Mark said...

They beat you to it:


I actually received a copy of this as a gift. It's not too bad. It does not promote storehouse tithing, but generally addresses the topic of generosity through a study in the middle of the Bible. Had some of the folks you mentioned gotten a hold of it, no doubt it would have been just as you described.

Anonymous said...

Do you get a discount on this Bible if you can show that you have been faithful in the tithe?

pogWo4life said...

Really, really, and free will giving is biblical? I would rather read Malachai 3.