Unfortunately, upcoming events have led me to decide now is the time for me to lay down the blogging pen and say goodbye to all of my blogging friends.
You see, I have heard from my pastor, Harold Camping (the picture at left really is him, it is not a wax figure at the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" museum in St. Augustine), that the end of the world is Saturday, May 21st...my pastor has told me that Jesus is coming back and taking all of his true believers with him to heaven tomorrow.
And if Jesus comes back, and by the slimmest of chances I'm actually a Christian - which many of my pastor friends here tell me I'm NOT - I suppose I'm going with Jesus, and all of you recalcitrants who read this blog in defiance of your pastor, will be left behind and I won't have a chance to say goodbye.
And if, as my pastor friends say, I really am a hell-bound reprobate, unregenerate sinner - because I am a "fractious man" who stirs up trouble who should be left alone and isolated, then I will probably be left here to suffer tribulation while all the non-Calvinist, tithing Southern Baptist mega church pastors are in heaven with Jesus, and there will be nothing left to blog about. All the pastors will leave me behind and will be leading their followers on the ultimate "Holy Land Trip" paid for by their latest tithe check. My pastor tells me that Jesus will take us on a cruise down the Danube on our way to heaven, with a stop in Rome for shopping.
So I figure it is best for me to cover both bases and say "goodbye"....unless my pastor is wrong and the world doesn't actually end on Saturday, in which case never mind - I'll see you all on Sunday with my next blog post.
See you all on the other side, or back here on May 22nd.
I'm heading off to make my tinfoil hat.
Blessings to all!